Fan Fiction
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Not The End, Chapter 38
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“Bette, watch what you are doing…You know mother is trying to find something on her, don’t say anything to her about that.” Helena cuts in.
“I know Helena and I won’t. Excuse me Alice.” I say as I wait for Alice and Tasha to step out the booth so I can stand on my feet.
“I’m coming with you, Bette.” Kit says following behind me.
I make my way through the crowd and focus my eyes on Kelly to I can directly get to her.
“Are you serious? What are you doing here Kelly?” I say once I approach her.
“Wow, Bette, I didn’t know you were here.”
“Cut the shit Kelly.” Kit says.
“Hello to you too, Kit.” She says looking at Kit with a smile.
“So what are you doing here?” I ask.
“Can’t I come out and have a good time like everyone else?” She says.
“No, because whenever you do, you always start something or you are up to something.”
“I’m up to nothing.”
…
Tina’s POV
I make my way back to the table and look at the look at everyone’s faces as they look off into the crowd. “What’s everyone lookin-“ I stop when I see Bette, Kit and Kelly. “What the fuck!”
“Tina just let it play out.” I hear Helena to the right side of me.
“Yes, Tina, don’t start anything.” I then hear Shane to the left of me.
“No, she deserves something that will take her back a little.”
I then feel my arm being gripped by Shane.
“Shane, let go of me.”
“No, Tina.”
“She deserves what i’m going to do.”
“Like what?” Shane asks.
I quickly pull my arm away from Shane’s grip and quickly make my way through the crowd towards them.
….
Bette’s POV
“Just leave Kelly, just go.” I say.
“Yeah, you heard my sister. Just go.” Kit says.
“I’ve paid for my drink and I’ve just arrived. I don’t feel like leaving quite yet.”
I look down at the ground and within that second my head bolts up to see Tina’s hand swinging towards Kelly’s face.
I watch Kelly’s drink drop from her hand and her body fall back onto the ground as her hand is holding her face.
“That.”
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Way to go Tina! Love she knocked Kelly on her ass. Loved it, thanks
TINA put the brakes on her without having to lay hands on the wanna be homewrecker.Totally possesive of BETTE and who better to find that out than KELLY WENTWORTH .A knock upside the head was what she needed and TINA delivered it with pleasure.Now watch your backs girls, the look KELLY gave BETTE means willing or unwilling i am gonna have you. A warning BETTE should heed.thanks pps
Tina rocks! That was one hell of a punch she gave Kelly.
But that look Kelly gave to Bette spells problems. Bette watch your back.
I am glad to read you are working at a new story!
Thanks for the feedback! :) and yes i am writing another story to share with you readers :)
Yes ! Tina Rousey slaughter Kelly, and was well
deserved that punch.
I await your new story.
The complete constellation.
Thank you for this post cant wait for more,, and happy to read you have another tbette story on the way.
Thanks :)
Victoria,
Often I refer back to this writer’s page on, “The Best Use of Dialogue Tags” when I begin to feel my scenes are getting off track, and not flowing the way I would like them to,
**I read your story, and like your enthusiasm for the characters, and the vibrancy with which you tell you it. Here are a few points that I have found helpful to remind myself of, even though I’ve read this page fifty times. Perhaps, you’ll find it of interest , as you engage your readers with your imaginative tales of our favorite show, and characters. Blackbird
Here’s an excerpt from the writer’s guide to dialogue tags, and issues and suggestions that I have remind myself of over and over:
•Don’t use dialogue tags that are physically impossible
Since you can’t laugh, smile, grin, growl, moan, a sentence, don’t use these words as dialogue tags.
Example:
Incorrect: “No way,” she laughed.
Correct: “No way.” She laughed.
• Don’t overuse dialogue tags
Not every line of dialogue needs a dialogue tag. If it’s already clear who’s talking, cut out the dialogue tag and let the dialogue stand on its own. In a conversation between two people, you can usually go for three exchanges without tags. In conversations between more people, you need more speaker attributions. THIS IS A GOOD ONE to check how over using tags will break your scene’s flow.
5) Replace some dialogue tags with action beats – Over and over again, I try to do this, and be mindful of the opportunities. It makes my writing so much better when I do this successfully.
• Instead of using a dialogue tag, action beats can also let readers know who’s talking. Action beats are sentences that describe the actions or body language of a character. Don’t use the same meaningless gestures all the time. Smiling, nodding, shrugging, sighing, or gazing at each other get repetitive after a while. Use action beats that are unique to the character and the situation.
Remember to use this one, especially: Action beats that show us subtext or contradict what the characters say are especially interesting.
Example:
“What makes you think I’m nervous?” She patted her pockets as if searching for a pack of cigarettes, even though she’d given up smoking weeks ago. “I’m the picture of cool, calm, and collected.”
• Avoid double attribution
Action beats and dialogue tags have the same purpose: letting readers know who’s talking. If you already used an action beat to identify the speaker, there’s no need to attach a dialogue tag the line of dialogue too. Use a tag or an action beat, not both.
Example:
Incorrect: “I hate broccoli,” Jill said, wrinkling her nose.
Incorrect: Jill wrinkled her nose. “I hate broccoli,” she said.
Correct: Jill wrinkled her nose. “I hate broccoli.”
•• Don’t delay dialogue tags too long
Get the dialogue tag in as early as possible in the sentence, so readers don’t have to wait to find out who’s talking.
Example:
Incorrect: “Damn. And here I thought we’d get some peace and quiet once all the trappers and emigrants headed west,” Charlie said.
Correct: “Damn,” Charlie said. “And here I thought we’d get some peace and quiet once all the trappers and emigrants headed west.”
8) Don’t describe the way someone speaks before he or she actually speaks
If you use introductory dialogue tags, you can end up describing the way a character speaks before he or she even says a word. Place the description of how a line of dialogue is spoken after the dialogue.
Example:
Incorrect: In a voice that sounded like nails scratching over a blackboard, she shouted, “Get back here!”
Correct: “Get back here!” she shouted in a voice that sounded like nails scratching over a blackboard.
________ Again, nice job. Hope this helps.
Blackbird
Thanks so much Blackbird, I appreciate this :)