Comments

1. wkm says

   August 26, 2015 at 6:47 pm

   Way to go Tina! Love she knocked Kelly on her ass. Loved it, thanks

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2. dunnthat says

   August 27, 2015 at 2:23 am

   TINA put the brakes on her without having to lay hands on the wanna be homewrecker.Totally possesive of BETTE and who better to find that out than KELLY WENTWORTH .A knock upside the head was what she needed and TINA delivered it with pleasure.Now watch your backs girls, the look KELLY gave BETTE means willing or unwilling i am gonna have you. A warning BETTE should heed.thanks pps

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3. Bibi28 says

   August 27, 2015 at 7:10 am

   Tina rocks! That was one hell of a punch she gave Kelly.

   But that look Kelly gave to Bette spells problems. Bette watch your back.

   I am glad to read you are working at a new story!

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   • victoriaa_fanxo says

     August 27, 2015 at 7:41 am

     Thanks for the feedback! :) and yes i am writing another story to share with you readers :)

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4. mscully says

   August 27, 2015 at 1:23 pm

   Yes ! Tina Rousey slaughter Kelly, and was well
   deserved that punch.
   I await your new story.
   The complete constellation.

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5. don70 says

   August 27, 2015 at 2:19 pm

   Thank you for this post cant wait for more,, and happy to read you have another tbette story on the way.

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   • victoriaa_fanxo says

     August 28, 2015 at 8:05 am

     Thanks :)

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6. Blackbird says

   August 27, 2015 at 4:01 pm

   Victoria,

   Often I refer back to this writer’s page on, “The Best Use of Dialogue Tags” when I begin to feel my scenes are getting off track, and not flowing the way I would like them to,

   **I read your story, and like your enthusiasm for the characters, and the vibrancy with which you tell you it. Here are a few points that I have found helpful to remind myself of, even though I’ve read this page fifty times. Perhaps, you’ll find it of interest , as you engage your readers with your imaginative tales of our favorite show, and characters. Blackbird

   Here’s an excerpt from the writer’s guide to dialogue tags, and issues and suggestions that I have remind myself of over and over:

   •Don’t use dialogue tags that are physically impossible

   Since you can’t laugh, smile, grin, growl, moan, a sentence, don’t use these words as dialogue tags.

   Example:

   Incorrect: “No way,” she laughed.

   Correct: “No way.” She laughed.

   • Don’t overuse dialogue tags

   Not every line of dialogue needs a dialogue tag. If it’s already clear who’s talking, cut out the dialogue tag and let the dialogue stand on its own. In a conversation between two people, you can usually go for three exchanges without tags. In conversations between more people, you need more speaker attributions. THIS IS A GOOD ONE to check how over using tags will break your scene’s flow.

   5) Replace some dialogue tags with action beats – Over and over again, I try to do this, and be mindful of the opportunities. It makes my writing so much better when I do this successfully.

   • Instead of using a dialogue tag, action beats can also let readers know who’s talking. Action beats are sentences that describe the actions or body language of a character. Don’t use the same meaningless gestures all the time. Smiling, nodding, shrugging, sighing, or gazing at each other get repetitive after a while. Use action beats that are unique to the character and the situation.

   Remember to use this one, especially: Action beats that show us subtext or contradict what the characters say are especially interesting.

   Example:

   “What makes you think I’m nervous?” She patted her pockets as if searching for a pack of cigarettes, even though she’d given up smoking weeks ago. “I’m the picture of cool, calm, and collected.”

   • Avoid double attribution

   Action beats and dialogue tags have the same purpose: letting readers know who’s talking. If you already used an action beat to identify the speaker, there’s no need to attach a dialogue tag the line of dialogue too. Use a tag or an action beat, not both.

   Example:

   Incorrect: “I hate broccoli,” Jill said, wrinkling her nose.

   Incorrect: Jill wrinkled her nose. “I hate broccoli,” she said.

   Correct: Jill wrinkled her nose. “I hate broccoli.”

   •• Don’t delay dialogue tags too long

   Get the dialogue tag in as early as possible in the sentence, so readers don’t have to wait to find out who’s talking.

   Example:

   Incorrect: “Damn. And here I thought we’d get some peace and quiet once all the trappers and emigrants headed west,” Charlie said.

   Correct: “Damn,” Charlie said. “And here I thought we’d get some peace and quiet once all the trappers and emigrants headed west.”

   8) Don’t describe the way someone speaks before he or she actually speaks

   If you use introductory dialogue tags, you can end up describing the way a character speaks before he or she even says a word. Place the description of how a line of dialogue is spoken after the dialogue.

   Example:

   Incorrect: In a voice that sounded like nails scratching over a blackboard, she shouted, “Get back here!”

   Correct: “Get back here!” she shouted in a voice that sounded like nails scratching over a blackboard.

   ________ Again, nice job. Hope this helps.

   Blackbird

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   • victoriaa_fanxo says

     August 29, 2015 at 6:26 pm

     Thanks so much Blackbird, I appreciate this :)

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