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“Hey,” Bette said softly, touching Tina’s face so she would look back at her. “That’s not what you think. I will admit that initially I was so upset and hurt with your decision not to tell me about Christina, that I might have entertained an idea of staying in the past. There were moments that made me feel nostalgic about my life with Christina. Before I got to know you and love you, I had missed Christina a lot and thought that I only wanted her.”
“I get it, I guess,” Tina replied. “She was your first love and that’s hard to forget.”
“True, and there was a moment when I thought that maybe I saw Christina in you and because I couldn’t have her, you became her replacement.”
Tina nodded with understanding, “I thought that too at one time. When did it change for you?”
“I watched Helena gazing at you one day at the Planet and the thought of losing you to someone else was unbearable. This is when it hit me. I loved Christina but I was never jealous of her husband. I knew that it was the way it should be, I accepted it and I guess my feelings didn’t progress far enough that her unavailability would bother me. Thinking of you with someone else was unacceptable. My wanting became different when I knew it was you I wanted, and only you.”
Tina loudly let out breath she was holding and smiled, “Oh my God, Bette. I don’t know what to say.”
Bette smiled back, “You don’t have to say anything. Just read the last sentence in my journal.”
Tina turned the diary to the very last page and read the words written by a different hand,
“It’s heartbreaking to say goodbye to someone you don’t want to go, but it’s more heartbreaking to know they actually want to leave. I am happy for you, Elizabeth and I know I will be okay, but I want you to know that I will never stop loving you. This is the most painful thing I have to do. To let you go forever…again.”
When she finished, she looked at Bette questionably, “Do you mean…” she stumbled, unable to finish.
“Yes,” Bette moved closer to Tina and took both her hands into hers. “There’s no doubt in my mind who my heart belongs to. There were plenty of times when Christina made it very clear to me what she wanted…or rather, who she wanted but all those times I knew that I only wanted to be with you. I didn’t really have to choose because I knew it from the moment I jumped through the portal to go back.”
“Apart from being hurt and upset, did you have other reasons for going back?” Tina asked quietly.
“I needed to get my closure. Christina was big part of my journey and I wanted to make sure she was okay. I love her but I’m in love with you and want to continue on this life journey together, with you. Always.”
Bette slowly brought Tina’s hand to her lips and kissed it gently, savoring the warmth and softness of the skin. She turned it over and touched the palm with the tip of her tongue. Tina shivered and moved into Bette’s arms as their lips met in a hungry kiss.
TBC,finale part 2