The without a word, Tina starts to walk away.

“Where are you going,” I ask.  “Tina!”  She leaves the room without a word.

I breathe a heavy, angry sigh before realizing I can hear Tina and the doctor speaking.  I can’t make out every word, but listening intently I clearly hear some of it.

“Bette swelling in her brain to damage to her frontal lobe mood swing.”

“Is it permanent?  same old Bette ?” 

“everything that I can do…”

“Okay I’ll do whatever it takes to to assure Bette’s full recovery.”

“Good may never fully recover go in and sit with her tore her stitches open take her for those tests.”

“Thank you doctor,” I hear Tina’s statement end the conversation.  Her footsteps approach before she says, “okay Baby, the doctor said someone will be here soon to take you for those tests,” she sound cheerful even though I don’t think that conversation was a good one.  BEEPBEEPBEEP.That incessant beeping is really getting on my nerves.

“Tina, what’s that beeping?”  I ask her.  She’s not answering.  “Tina, are you still in here?”

“Yes,” she says as her warm hand lightly grips mine, “I’m right here.”

“What’s that beeping sound?”

“It’s the machine monitoring your heart,” she replies.

“Can’t they turn it off?  It’s annoying the ***** out of me.”

“If you knew what I’ve been through in the past few hours you wouldn’t say that.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”  ‘If I knew what you’ve been through’?  I think I’ve been through a ***** of a lot more.

“Huh,” is her only utterance.

“What you just said.  What is it supposed to mean?”  She’s not even listening to me now.

“What did I just say?”  Her question tells me I’m right.  She’s not here in mind; she’s drifting off somewhere.

“You said that if I knew what you went through I wouldn’t feel that way.”

“Feel that way about what?”

“That incessant beeping sound, Tina.  Can’t you hear it?”  I’ve grown irritate again and I finally snap at her.

“Uh, yeah,” she says, “I hear it.  What about it?”

“Arghhhhh, nevermind!”  I tell her, then just lay here listening to the machine.  Each beep more annoying than the last.  Trying to take my mind off it, I start to think about work.  The artoh no, the art.  Will I ever be able to see it again?  How can I support a family doing what I do if I can’t see?  I won’t be able to support Tina and I won’t be able to care for a baby if I can’t seeif we even try to have another baby.