It was at Survivalism training that we learned about the Cartesian theory of the vortex. It’s the rapid rotatory movement of cosmic matter about a center, regarded as accounting for the origin or phenomena of bodies or systems of bodies in space.

“Why did they teach us that for? To get our minds on something bigger and greater than us. It’s a really good idea if you think about it. Think about how grand everything is, think about how small you are, how insignificant, know your faults, embrace them. If you feel like everything is making you drown, if you feel like you are going round and round in a perfect round circle, then know not fear that the matter or antimatter is all part of the perfect plan. They made us all perfect. So perfect that all we know how to do is be broken.”

Pavel was so coming in his pants about the icon that he didn’t seem to notice what I said to him.

“….Of course….Shane this is priceless. It was lost to my family since the last Czar was in power. You have no idea what it means to me to have it back.”

“How did you know she had it anyways?”

I didn’t really care about the answer. It wasn’t going to change that I killed her. That I killed her dreams, her goals her ambitions, I murdered her love, broke her mother’s heart. I added one more to a list that got longer the more I breathed. It wasn’t  going to change that I felt drawn to Carmen, like the whirlwind…like drowning, like sinking, like spinning……like matter….like……anitmatter…..

“Shane, if you must know it was featured in an article about Ms. Tucker. There was a photograph taken inside her loft and there it was on her shelf…”

“Whatever…who is next?”

“Something on your mind?”

“Just waiting for the right time to kill you….”

“Funny.”

‘I’m not laughing. Who is next?””

“…..Maslova…you can’t kill me…you understand that? Right? I mean if I die you die.”