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Posthumous Wisdom (22)
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As was often the case Alice’s mind caught up with her mouth a little late. She had been pushing her pie around her plate while talking and now as she came to the end, the potential impact of what she had said to the blonde who sat across from her struck her with a force. As she came back to the moment she could feel the change in atmosphere in the room. Her courage continued to fail her and she found herself unable to look up at her friend, unsure of what would greet her there, sorrow, regret, anger the only one she could discount was indifference.
“I’m sorry “she mumbled. “I shouldn’t have…I didn’t think…I was just caught up in remembering.”
She continued to play with her food awaiting a response but there was none forthcoming, she strained her ears to try and establish if tears were falling. She wasn’t sure if she could handle that. Tina crying was heart-breaking to her. It brought her back every time to the night in her apartment wrestling the marker from her hand trying to comfort her and knowing that nothing could help. It was only later when she was on the other side of that equation – in a position where the pain was so great that there was no consolation to be offered – that she realised the futility of her attempts on that night. The physical comfort of another body in close proximity which forced a connection to the real world was the only thing that she had been aware of. In those first few days after Dana’s death when the grief and pain had been such a thick fog that trying to see it through it was not even an option she knew that words had been spoken. She could remember the soothing tones of the voices that delivered them but the words themselves were redundant, she was not capable of hearing them.
The sound of Tina blowing out a breath brought her back to the present. Inwardly she groaned wanting to take back the words, to undo their damage. Her relationship with Tina was on the mend. They had both said and done things which they regretted but as both had started to put their lives back together, they had come to the realisation that they’re anger at the world and the hand it had dealt them had manifested itself in an anger at each other. They hadn’t really discussed it, they just smoothly manoeuvred themselves back to where they both were more comfortable, as friends. Alice worried that Tina would think her words had been spoken in judgement and it was this thought that finally gave her the impetus to speak.
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Hey Wonderingaloud, you are definitely on my list of favourite authors on this site. I’m just loving every word. You address each character with an authenticity that’s brilliant. Keep on posting. I’ll love to see how you will bring Bette and Tina together again for more conversations as well as Shane and Carmen.
Thank you wonderingaloud for yet another insightful post. This story is truly touching and wishing that Ms Dana did not die so soon. But, then, you would not be writing this incredible story. I am looking forward to seeing A opening the rest of the box. pps.
Everyone seems to have a certain character whom they’re ready to have read their letter. I don’t know who’s letter I’m anticipating. This story is so good, I’ll take whoever you choose. Okay, okay, I do have a very strong desire to see a scene with Shane and Carmen or Carmen and the gang, but no pressure.
everything that beachlife said… I’m being a bad commenter huh? I know I’m not good at this but yeah, the conversation between Alice and Tina is one that I could only wish o be included in the show. It’s amazing for me how people can communicate. I wish I knew how to though hihi. thanks for updating wonderingaloud, ‘ppreciate it PP as soon as you can. I’m looking forward o the next chapters.:D
Love the heart felt conversation between tina and alice.. which you rarely see on the show between these two.. excellent….
Another great chapter, wondering! You really capture dialog well and the conversation between Alice and Tina seemed so true to their characters. Thanks for the update. PPS!
Absolutely love your writing! This chapter broke my heart for both of these women…but always under it all is a layer of hope. Thanks!
I love this story! It is convoluted and captivating.
I love this story. I am such a huge fan of Alice. I miss dana. This story tells them all so well. All the conversations and reactions are so to character.