I replayed it a bunch of times trying to get what she was trying to say to me. On one hand she liked kissing me and on the other…of course she wasn’t so inclined. They never are….then they are.

I deleted the message as she requested. I packed, drank a little more to make sure I went to sleep, then the alarm went off. Not before I dreamed about the end of world. Not before in that dream it was me and Carmen….A comet killed everyone but us. I was channeling the movie already……..

Early morning waking up. Drinking coffee to stay up. Going over everything I needed. Leaving “to do” things with Dana. Signing the contract she slipped under my door. Watching the glow of the sun as I got ready for the day. Pacing at my window, watching the slow stream of traffic. Pacing not sure if the car would get here to get me. The honk urging me to get downstairs, the call as I closed the door to make sure I was on my way. The driver getting my stuff. Carmen there, smiling at me looking amazing…like all the love in the world.

The boyfriend was cool. Nice guy really into his fitness. Carmen ate a bag of chips and he didn’t let it go the whole ride out to the training facility. He slept and when he did. She looked at me. Kinda studying me through her dark sunglasses. She looked amazing…I think I said that already. I felt the butterflies that took up residence in my stomach demanding her attention so they could flip some more. I ignored them. We stopped. We got out. They got our stuff. We where assigned our trailers. At the end of the day when the get tough fast speeches ended we went home to our trailers. No high life. No fancy hotels just water and enmities. Just this feeling of being on the road…or maybe on tour.

We ran. We did pushups. We ran. We shot guns. We ran. We drove 71 Impalas like getaway men would. We ran some more. We practiced our lines. We acted everything out. We talked about childhood traumas at dinner. We ate at wooden picnics tables. The guys talked about sports. Me and Carmen we talked about nothing. The days went on. We all hung out… we got close. We kept on talking about nothing.