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Remember Who You Are 13
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She remembered feeling afraid of him for the first time ever in their relationship. Bored, yes. Irritated, for sure. But frightened? Never.
After all the yelling and crying, the house had gone eerily silent and she had backed up into the kitchen as he approached, her back hitting the counter as she searched for something else to throw, her fingers closing on the only object in reach… a wooden stirring spoon.
His hand had quickly closed on her wrist, holding her tight as he pinned her to the counter, both breathing hard. She had dropped the spoon and tried to push him away but he was stronger and he trapped both her arms behind her back as he leaned in to talk to her, his breath hot on her cheeks and his chest pressed against her own.
She didn’t remember his exact words then, or the responses she made.
She did remember the whispered pleas of innocence, the admission of falling apart without her.
She remembered his breath smelled of what she could only guess was the scent of her sister and it revolted her and made her gag and struggle to break free.
When he released her, she had thrown up in the kitchen sink and then again on the floor at his feet.
She remembered him leaving, she remembered cleaning up her living room and ignoring the many many phone calls from her sister, then her mother.
And she remembered falling apart in the shower, then into bed as night descended.
But the worst part?
Worse than the severed relationship with Lucy? Worse than her mother calling daily to yell at her to take him back, that it was her fault anyway from making him go on that stupid break?
Worse than those, was that she had taken him back. She had listened to her mother as she always did. And she had taken him back. Back into her life, back into her bed.
And she realized, for the first time, as her knees buckled under her and her palms caught her hard fall, as The Troll won yet again and her chin and knees dragged against the pavement, rolling to land on her hip… she realized that she taken him back for the same reason she had sought refuge in Henry.
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What a nice chapter….they really are mending their relationship. Tina really does understand that running and complying with the wishes of others will not lead to happiness. I find it hard to believe that she went back to Eric considering she really did not love him. She just succumbed to the pressure of her mother and Eric knowing that she would never be happy. At least she loves Bette and forgiving Bette makes a lot more sense than trying to forgive Eric.
I had always pictured Tina’s attraction to men was based on her preference to try something new rather than face her relationship problems with Bette. It was a form of running. Nothing would end the relationship with Bette more decisively than Tina expressing a desire to go back to men. That to me was her sub-conscious thought. Or it would make Bette sharpen her game to try to win her back?. Tina kept saying at the time that she did not know what she wanted. Did she want to end it with Bette or change things with Bette and herself and continue on? She choose the easy road which did not make her happy. She choose Henry until she saw Bette attempting to move on with someone else. It was then she began to remember and understand who Bette was in her life. Tina and Bette have learned so much about themselves and each other in this story. They are truly learning what it means to let the love of your life into your very sole and to disclose everything. Its always painful and never comfortable but necessary to have true intimacy. It reflects the trust for one another. But it also build trust as a result.
Thank you for this chapter….lovely, really lovely interaction between these two.
Martha you are so right with what you wrote!
I agree ???? with you!
Martha
Thank you for always reading, always letting me know how you feel about each chapter. It means the world me. I dont know all the answers to why Tina chose men over Bette – except the OBVIOUS which is bad writing from the creators of the L word who chose to portray meaningless drama instead of portraying a healthy female relationship. Anyway I think it is harder to stay, to show up, to commit and that is what I want from our illustrious couple. Please keep reading and commenting!
Oh how I love your writing! I wish I had the right words to express the emotions I have experienced reading this wonderful story. I am looking forward to your next chapter.
Thank you LEE!
Nice, really nice, thank you!
Looking forward to more so please post soon:-)
SG
BK
You are a Master at painting emotional pictures 🥰!! Looks like Laurel Holloway is NOT the only painter in our lives😍 right? 😛
I like how you haven’t held back the gut wrenching dialog and verbally admitted truths that these two women have realized they must confront and overcome.
Yours is the first Tibette tale that has ever explained so many of the questions I could not resolve in “why” Bette did such&such and “why” Tina did such&such.
You have a spiritual connection with the word “intimacy” and its’ many forms of expression unlike I have ever read!! Anywhere!! These two have come full circle in why & how to forgive themselves and each other. They have finally had the blinders removed from their eyes as to W H Y they respond to certain situations the way they have.
Bettes’ hard work to learn & practice “patience” has really served her well. And with Bette NOT having answers (to what they should do at any given moment) has forced Tina to speak her truth, AND step up and admitted her faults & insecurities have often lead to her own demise, and justified mistrust of Bette.
Tibette is now ready to CRUSH the trolls & haters, starting with Eric! If he tries to blackball her in the film industries she is ready fight back fearlessly!!! Time to go to another studio or start her own I say!! 🍷🍷🍷
DumplinT
Gosh your post was nice to read. Thank you! I was worried I was overdoing the intimacy thing and answering the WHYS is so hard, Glad you like and understand the direction I have wanted to go. You are spot on that Bette is taking the lead and forcing Tina to own and speak her own truth. Thank you for seeing that. Keep reading, keep commenting!
I’m totally stunned. What a beautiful chapter, BK! Thank you for this.
The intimacy you portrait with your words made me feel like I shouldn’t read any further and “watch”
T + B. I would only be intruding a very personal, private moment that I had no right to witness. You know what I mean?
I think they reached a milestone in their relationship.
Hopefully Tina’s realisation regarding Eric and her behaviour pattern will have a positive impact on the way she will handle Eric.
Btw I’m with Shane: “so fucking cute!”
What a lovely comment. Thank you thank you. I think they have reached a milestone too and hope it continues to help them weather any upcoming storm. :)
I was shocked at Eric and Lucy’s betrayal. I hope we will one day get to see Tina confront her sister for her disloyalty and being a homewrecker. If her mom refuses to speak her, I wonder if she has been poisoned by her favourite child’s lies?
I was even more shocked that Tina went back to Eric. It is good that she remembered what a sleaze he is. She needs to stand her ground and not give in to her bosses and tell Eric where to get off.
Bette carefully tending to Tina’s injuries were precious. We got to see how much Bette loves Tina and is so different from Eric. I love the intimate moments. It was the healing touch that Tina needed.
Thank you Jordan, glad you like the story…
Like your other delighted readers here, my dearest author, I just adore the delicacy of this chapter, full of tenderness and deepest trust.
And here, I especially love how you methaphorically brang your Tina falling after a hard run… to realize she has to stop running in her life !
Physical injuries are nothing compared to emotional ones, for which scars are always, alas, ready to reopen…
My, my… each time I think BK cannot do better…
… but BK did.
So beautifully…
Thank you so much for sharing your so endearing talent ! Once more, true Tibetters will always need your own Bette and Tina – more than ever now :-)
Gratefully yours – A.
Therese,
You have stolen my words and expressed them better than I
DumplinT,
Thank you for the nice words !
Oh, I’m sure you expressed it the same way in your TiBette heart *wink*, because I always appreciated your comments,,,
I wish you a very beautiful and happy year ! :-)
A.
Absolutely the best chapter of any story I have read about the heartwarming, constantly evolving, passionate, mature, truly loving, relationship between Bette and Tina. Adding to the backstory of both and opening up to each other has solidified and immensely strengthened their bond. This chapter really touched my heart. That says a lot for a writer of fiction, I think. Great job, BK! You are definitely a favorite author of mine!