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    Story written on August 15, 2019 by BK.
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    10 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 510 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (10 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 24
    Words: 6867
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=95769
    Author Notes:

    God how she tried with Jodie. With the dinner at her house. The endless attempts to make peace, to calm Jodie and be in a relationship where she could feel loved again. Loved and wanted. Cherished, even…someone holding space for her. She had tried, she knew she had. Bette Porter never did anything halfway. Bette

    God how she tried with Jodie. With the dinner at her house. The endless attempts to make peace, to calm Jodie and be in a relationship where she could feel loved again. Loved and wanted. Cherished, even…someone holding space for her. She had tried, she knew she had. Bette Porter never did anything halfway.

    Bette thought about the times she had brought dinner over as a surprise after a long day, Jodie’s favorite meal…and it was never right, never – the wrong sauce, the wrong place, the wrong side dish. “Why did you order for me” Jodie used to say, “I want to order my own food!” And Bette would apologize and go back out and get what Jodie wanted. It was confusing. For Bette it became a guessing game, all the time, attempts to read body language and trying to guess Jodie’s moods.

    Jodie would disappear, sometimes for days at a time, to work on her art (or be with Amy, Bette now wondered) and then reappear with a whole new set of likes, dislikes, interests.

    Bette would bring Jodie things for her apartment, knick knacks or mementos she saw, they made her think of Jodie. Jodie usually refused them, smirking or outright telling Bette to stop, stop decorating her apartment, stop adding to the clutter.

    And then there was Jodie herself. Jodie. Fiery, reactive. Jodie was often easily angered. Combative. She TOOK. She sneered. She smirked. She demanded, my way. MY way. And Bette had tried. She got smaller. She acquiesced, she obeyed. She shrunk.

    Jodie would tell Bette that she needed to give up control and Bette knew there was some truth there but giving up control to Jodie meant that Jodie was in complete charge of everything, it was not a mutual thing. It was not a relationship of give and take or reciprocity. Jodie took and took more, then sneered.
    During Jodie’s art show Bette felt uncovered. She felt disrobed. It made her feel public, an object of examination, exposed for all to see – and that exposure was something she was not. NOT. I am not those things she thought.
    Am I? Could I be? Is it true?

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    Comments

    2. ” She’s a piece of gum on the bottom of your shoe” that summarised what so many people think about Jodie Lerner !

      I’m happy to see new writers coming on this site, welcome !

      I enjoyed reading your fic, it was well written and I hope to read you soon again.

    4. Welcome, you did this story justice! I hope there will be a part 2 where Tina puts Jodie’s ass in her place. Shut her ass all the way down. She want be able to do another art show EVER! More soon please and thanks.

    7. Hi BK,

      Welcome on board!!!

      It is so important to welcome new authors on this site!!! I am very happy that you shared this story with us!!! What a fantastic story to begin with!!!

      I loved how Tina took care of Bette and this line is so true and described my feeling about that woman:

      ” She’s a piece of gum on the bottom of your shoe” that summarised what so many people think about Jodie Lerner !

      I would love it if you can continue and let us see how Tina will take care of Jodie and kick her ass!

    11. I really enjoyed this story. Your description of Bette’s response to the Jodi’s exhibit was excellent. Bette in my view always reacts strongly to rejection and when you add public humiliation, I can see her at least going temporarily into a state as you describe. Bette’s motivtivation is to be loved, wanted, needed and accepted. It’s why she had such a terrible time when she and Tina were seperated. The bringing Bette back to the woman Tina loves and knows is really a good story. I have seen it written that most of The L Word Fans want to be Bette or to make love to Bette. Put me in the camp of wanting to be Bette. I want to make love to that wonderful Tina. And only Bette deserves to be with Tina. They truly are the two best ficitional characters I know.

      PS Nice touch using “sugah” as Tina’s term of endearment. Tina being raised in Atlanta Georgia, would definitely use such a term..

      • I agree completely. Glad you liked the story. I wanted to write something that highlighted the connection between the two, something that was sweet but true to character as I see them. I think Tina is wonderful too and Bette so complicated and tender at the same time. I want Bette to be strong but she is insecure so hopefully that came across in the story. More to come…including a pool party, parking lot confrontation and Alice. Thank you for taking the time to respond, everyone!

    13. Many thanks for sharing your obvious talent with us !

      I’m especially touched by the way you depict devastating effects of humiliation on someone as deeply vulnerable and full of old emotional scars like our dearest Bette…
      How miraculous to find such a true soulmate like her Tina, the person who so fully knows you and that you can trust with your life…

      You know, I also thought, when I saw this episode the first time (so many years ago but it always seems like yesterday) that they missed the opportunity to show the way Bette and Tina would have recovered together from such an awfully humiliating act of revenge from this insufferable Jodie,
      So I cannot wait to see how you will treat her through Tina !

      Welcome to this wonderful and so precious site, I’m delighted to discover your story – thank you :-)

      P.S.: Beyond the so endearing topic, what a pretty hot way to be comforted ! *wink*

      • Thank you for your kind words. With the new L word coming out I am drawn back to the missed opportunities in the first edition. I heard Leisha say in an interview once that the L word was the first to show how lesbians did things, ordinary things, like drink coffee. She was joking but I think comforting each other when life gets tough would have been really good to see.
        Bette, to me, is so complex and carries such fragility inside that I am hoping to show that here. Glad you liked it.
        More coming this weekend

        thanks

        • Complex and carrying such fragility indeed – I see we obviously share the same point of view on Ms Porter ;-)

          By the way, fascinating enough was the way Laurel Holloman depicted Jennifer Beals, in an interview during the first season : “Luminous and complex”. Since we all know how much of herself JB brought to Bette’s character – for exemple the biracial topic she so wanted to add – and her own deep emotional personality, this definition always touched me a lot…

          ,,, well, no need to be a genius to guess how much complexity and fragility speak to me on a very personal way, I’m afraid :-)

    14. Thanks for this story as it captures so well a wonderful possibility of a most difficult moment in Bette’s life. We were able to witness a relationship between two women that was unique and sacred, even though it was only a tv show. There was definitely a chemistry that they successfully create for us to observe as they told their stories.

      You story captures that sacredness of two spirits joined in love and how their understanding of the other brings forth a healing of a pained heart with the simplicity of looks, words and touches and a deep and abiding love.

      Thank you!

    17. WOW!!! So beautifully written . Just excellent!
      I fervently wish to have such a love! Perhaps in my next incarnation, she will come to me and I will immediately recognize her, as my soul responds to hers. Thank you for sharing what true love encompasses.

    18. I’m honestly so speechless I’ve read nearly all your fics but my friend told me to read this one and I finally am and I wish I could write down all my emotions but I’m speechless in the best way you’re such an incredible author and I love how you wrote Bette and Tina so perfectly ahhh thank you

    19. OMG this first chapter is phenomenal! You’ve really captured all the characters and their behaviours and thoughts so well! I’m basically going to quote half the chapter to you, but your language is so beautiful that I just have to:

      Jodie. Fiery, reactive. Jodie was often easily angered. Combative. She TOOK. She sneered. She smirked. She demanded, my way. MY way. And Bette had tried. She got smaller. She acquiesced, she obeyed. She shrunk. –
      OH MY GOD, Bette tried SO hard in that relationship, way more than Jodie deserved tbh and it was heartbreaking to watch, while at the same time, I was so proud of Bette – she really listened to Tina’s criticisms and tried to fix her behaviours in the next relationship. Obviously, it was the wrong relationship but still – character growth :)

      Tina will know what to do next, she will help, Bette knew this deep in her heart. – My Baby. Tina has always been her safe space. I love that image of Bette just sitting catatonic, waiting until Tina gets to her so she can safely fall apart.

      Bette was more fragile, humble, trusting…dare she say, vulnerable? Tina could not get enough of this Bette. – Yup. For all of Tina’s saying to the contrary early on – this has always been her happy place, taking care of Bette. Tina is a natural nurturer and it’s always what gives her the most satisfaction is taking care of Bette. To have that super strong confident personality be soft and vulnerable with her only.

      “I didn’t love her enough” she said, “I couldn’t. I didn’t care enough, I didn’t; I wasn’t I couldn’t”. And Tina understood, Tina knew. Bette didn’t wasn’t couldn’t because Tina was could did. – OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD THIS IS PERFECTION!

      • Thank you! So nice to read someone finding this story after all this time. It takes many twists and turns with my favorite parts still to come. Hope you keep commenting! I am writing a new chapter now.

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