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    Remembering Me – Part One

    Bette_Tina intheSheets

    Lying in bed next to Tina, the baby asleep nearby in her cradle, my mind begins its uncertain drift – in and out of a satisfied state.  It’s been a wholly new experience having Tina back, after so much uncertainty, after controlling my rage to not wrap my belt around Helena’s neck in revenge for all the damage she’s done.  Well, nearly did…before Tina regained her senses and came home.

    It’s also not lost on me that I’m relating with total strangers on the Internet, instead of with any of my friends. Or someone else involved in all of this – Tina springs to mind, but not yet, I can’t talk to her about what feels obsessive to me.

    So, who in our circle of friends could, first of all keep a fucking confidence, or relate to any of my questions about being a new parent?

    Alice has gone off the rails. Her obsession with Dana is all consuming. Tina feels really badly about it, and so do I. If we weren’t juggling with Angelica’s uncertain schedule of sleeping, feeding and pooping, followed by a fourth ball in the air, her blistering screams sometimes just for the hell of it, I know we’d either be admitting Alice into a psyche ward, or taking a long walk down the beach with her to size up the need for it.

    Other’s neuroses aside, my quest for today is to understand this: When the primal bond between baby and mother is imprinting Tina as the sole provider of mother’s milk, what is left for me?  Where do I fit in?

    I stare out the window and wonder.  Could I’ve predicted these lesbian Daddy blues?

    More clouds roll in off the ocean and I feel lost.

    LA Remembering Me Sky

    If it’s being their provider, I never open my power suit closet any more. By now, I’ve probably forgotten how to walk in heels and not crash into a busboy.  I do, however; recognize the part of me who’s half-heartedly sending out her CV for job prospects every morning, but mostly, I stare at the professional listings letting my tea grow cold.

    And without guilt, I like the new me, who has no desire to work, or wrestle with people egos, who mistakenly believe they know more than I do. No. Fuck them. I’d rather spend my early mornings painting watercolors of Tina and the baby while they sleep, and my afternoons fantasizing about having sex some day, one day, any day again.

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    Comments

    1. Thanks for your note! I will continue on with more sexy interesting adventures in hopes that you’ll enjoy them, too. Tell me, did you find Bette’s secret blog amusing? The sports narrators still amuse me and I’ve read the story fifty times.

      We all agree, Bette and Tina need a babysitter!

    2. Yes yes, you granted my wish!

      I loved this story the first time and love it even more now.

      Bette’s blog and the sports narrators are very amusing. Bette’s craving for Tina’s milk is a little weird, but i can imagine that there are men or woman that have the same thoughts about it and get turn on by it. It is very intimate.

      I am so happy that you repost this story and hopefully continue it for a long time.

      Thank you!

    3. I consider normal the way bette wants Tina, and if the desire comes through
      Of milk, great, that enjoy and enjoy this intimacy.
      The birth of angelica gave Bette and Tina another emotional link, that of being
      Moms
      I loved the blog and the sports narration.
      All Stars.

    4. Hi Blackbird:

      Very nice story, I read it before on your site, but I think you have changed it a little for the best.

      It is funny how Bette looks for advice in the blog and the different opinions and the variety of tips she gets, and finally how she finds her own way to Tina.

      I hope you could find the time to keep going with this story; you are a very talented and professional writer. Thanks so much for this gift, and pps.

      P

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