Tina dug one hand deep into one pocket let the other rest on her neck as she spoke with her head thrown back and her eyes closed “I…I wanted to hate you Bette. I wanted to hate Justine. But she isn’t here she isn’t who I see everyday. I see you and feel…pain. I hate that you brought all of this from me. I keep replaying that day in my head and I wonder if I’d married Justine, would I have found out? Would it feel worse knowing that our marriage was a lie? Or would I be relieved? Would I be this angry at you or more? I don’t know, and it’s because I don’t have the answers to those questions that makes me hate you” she finished through tight lips wanting not to let her emotions bubble over and make Bette want to leave even more. “I…”

 “Oh my fucking God Tina!” Bette interrupted tired of Tina’s “woe is me” speeches, each point like a nail hammering into her brain with malice and disdain behind it. “Then just do it! Hate me, hate me for an eternity just bring back the girl I used to know. I don’t care anymore if you hate me, I really truly don’t; just don’t hide yourself anymore. You have no idea what it’s like to watch someone shrink right before your eyes and pretend to be happy with the fake artificial life they are trying to force themselves into.” Bette said approaching Tina and cupping her face into her hands, she closed her eyes and spoke freely from her heart, she let the words that sat in her for so long finally have a voice, “Where’s the girl who drove on the beach with her eyes shut, the girl who slept under the stars naked, the same girl whose laugh could infect an entire room, the woman who gave the cheesiest birthday presents that were directly from the heart.” Tina shut her eyes and let the words hit her hard and directly in the heart, wanting desperately to feel like the girl she was describing again “I want her back, I want my friend back; I’ll take her hating me if she just comes back for the world to have her! What are you so afraid of…” Bette was cut short by the soft lips cutting short her mind’s outrage. She felt the force of Tina pushing into her further forcing her to slam against the car hood with a loud thud. Bette sank into the kiss wanting more of Tina than the physical contact would allow and drawing from her the softest moans she’d ever heard.

She pushed Tina away and caught her breath, “I can’t. I know I can’t.” she closed her eyes shaking her head free from the ecstasy of her embrace, “I don’t need you wanting me one minute and hating me the next.” she said holding onto her shoulders, “Tell me you’ve forgiven me. Tell me that this is really you wanting me and not the fear of me leaving that’s causing this.” Tina dropped her head down and away from Bette’s eyes, Bette bent down a little to try and capture her eyes, and she did. Bette looked further into Tina’s eyes and saw absolutely nothing. Everything she wanted to see in order for her to stay was gone, the passion she felt for her was only an illusion. She walked past Tina and somberly got into her car, she put it in reverse and then into drive, and as she was driving away she saw Tina still look at her as though she was waiting for her to come back. She sped off trying to make her flight on time.