Her assistant broke eye contact with her and stared out the huge window of Tina’s office for a few moments, still in silence, just contemplating, meditating the situation. 

“And this comes as a surprise to you?” Rachel finally broke the silence, making  eye contact with her blonde boss again. 

“What do you mean?” Tina was not following the younger woman and even less expecting that question. 

“You knew she was engaged… in fact you’ve known this for the last month and a half…” Rachel added still in a very calmed and understanding tone of voice.  

Even though Rachel knew she could say anything to her boss, she still felt she  had to be careful, and especially with this subject. Bette wasn’t something Tina  was willing to discuss very often, actually ever, but that was not gonna prevent  her from making a point. If Tina was the one willing to open up it was for a very good reason, and that was objectivity. And Rachel was sure as hell she would provide it. 

Now it was Tina’s turn to be silent.

“So if you knew she was gonna marry someone at some point… in the very  near future… so… what changes now?” Rachel quickly added. 

Tina still remained silent, completely at a loss of words. 

“Let me answer that for you… nothing… nothing changes, you are still the grey  person you were yesterday… she can marry whoever she wants… whether it is  Julia or Scarlet Johansson… and you will remain undoubtedly… profoundly… and inevitably… sad…” Rachel finally spoke her mind and on that note she took her mug and left, leaving Tina to her thoughts.

Later that night Tina was still at her office. She hadn’t been able to get pretty much anything done, but she wasn’t able to run to an empty apartment either. 

Her assistant’s words were still echoing in her head. They had fallen upon her  like a big, huge hammer. The blonde was feeling the weight of the world and missed opportunities on her shoulders. She saw all her escape routes vanishing, taking everything else with them. 

All the previous reasons she had given herself throughout the years not to be with Bette, not to follow her heart and run to whom she wanted all her adult life, were losing their meaning. It felt like they never existed in the first place.

She felt devastatingly alone. 

She felt grey, and she knew that Rachel had been a hundred percent right, for she was undoubtedly, profoundly and inevitably sad.

Tina looked at her watch. It was late. But never too late.