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Shoulda – S3.3
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So there’s no reason I should feel threatened or.
Bette finally articulated the fear she had had ever since Tina told her she was having lunch with
There’s nothing between us any more– nothing at all.
Bette wondered if “nothing at all” could also refer to the way Tina thought about her.
I still don’t know if I’m OK with it.
I’m not sure it’s up to you.
Well, there it was. Tina was taking control whether Bette liked it or not.
Bette didn’t like it and walked out into the living room. Tina postponed feeding Angelica for the moment and went to sit with a pale, quiet Bette.
“Bette, listen to me.”
Bette looked at her with alarm as though she was going to say something life-altering.
“Remember the other night when you said that you were scared?”
Bette nodded affirmatively.
“Well, I’m scared, too. I’m actuallyterrified sometimes.”
Bette looked at Tina with surprise.
“I didn’t realize that you were really scared about that.”
“I know I sound like some nagging haus frau, but we have to have some money. I’d be happy to stay at home and take care of Angelica and take care of you.”
Tina stopped momentarily, biting her lip to keep from crying.
“But you need a job that can support all of us. And you not only do not have such a job, you haven’t even really looked. And you continue to buy things that are expensive and that we don’t need.”
“Spending money is the only thing I can do that reminds me what I enjoyed in our other life,” Bette admitted, fearfully. “The other things don’t seem to exist.”
“Please,” implored Tina. “I need to talk about money instead of Buddhist philosophy. I know you’re trying to find yourself, but can we set some priorities?”
She put her arms around Bette and drew her close.
“You always feel so good and smell so good, but there’s more to a relationship. You don’t seem ready to take a job, so I may do that,” whispered Tina.
“Baby,” Bette said, “Could we talk about money and Buddhist philosophy?”
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Pancha,Now all we need to do is convince IC to get you to write the episodes for Season 4??? Hopefully. I will support the L Word in all the ways I can over here in Blighty. AS for the story, another series of touching and tender scenes that could have played out instead of the depressing one in that episode. Great to bring back Bette and Candace’s union as an example of all that can go wrong. Thank you for these little treasures. Your Loyal Fan.
Great chapter Pancha!!!
All we need is a little hope,like you just gave us. I’m sorta die hard,I’ll watch until the bitter end For I know I can read F/F and get my daily dose of HOPE… thanks
Thank you so much for not giving up on them. I personally have about 30 or so friends who won’t watch the show anymore because they can tell that Ilene is going to break tina and bette up for good. These two characters are the only reason a lot of people watch the show, so its just 2 depressing to watch the show right now.
Pancha…thank you for showing a little glimpse of hope for B & T. There seems to be such darkness, dismay, and even a bit of hatred between them this season;that it’s hard to even recognize them. S3 seems more like 6 weeks after the end of S1…where Tina would have all of this anger towards Bette. I digress…thanks for the update.
That was great,as ive said before i wont be seeing the series for awhile yet but between screencaps etc i get the whole sad picture…and once again youve put it right…here at least…thanks am enjoying these “Shouldas”
I meant “who”.
OK, so let me say again that I hate the server on this site. It ate my original comment and kept the correction, which now just seems bizarre. Since I’ve totally screwed up my own joke, let me, with a straight face, express my admiration for your work. (It was funny the first time. You had to be there.)
Wow. This was beautiful. Thanks for posting this.
As always thank you. I know that if I don’t get something from the show I’ll get it here.
EXACTLY! That’s the way it should be. Too much high drama as it is currently! I need to take an antidepressent.
Don’t be so modest, you did put a positive spin to that episode and you wrote a great “shoulda”.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Why can’t we have this type of storyline. There’s such a thing as too much drama, Ilene! Continue posting please :)
Ohmygod! How easy and amazing was that? Why can’t it be that way on TV? Tina being mean and catty and constantly irritated was a bit too much. And Bette, who started the Ep walking on tiptoes, certainly topped herself by ending up walking on coals — all that time, with Tina. They danced around each other instead of dancing together. Recaps are nice but your alternative take on the eps is WAAAAYY better, Pancha. Thanks a bunch. More Shouldas please. Cheers!
I adore you for providing an outlet for our imaginations during this terribly sad season. Thanks.
Pancha…thank you for hope. IC sure as hell doesn’t give it to us.
Now why can’t that happen in the show dammit!!!!!!!
Lovely and thanks for easing the pain.
This is the way be like and good!
I am one of those bad girls who does not have Showtime, but I have very good reasons. I live by this site, so your stories at least give me an idea of what is happening. I will end up buying the DVD when it does come out. It is nice to see (hear) Bette and Tina at least trying to fix their relationship. Thank you for the insight to this wonderful couple that IC is tearing apart.
As always, I love to read your spin on things. Thanks!
“Lately I’ve been staring in the mirror, very slowly picking me apart. Trying to tell myself I have no reason with your heart…”
why can Ilene just give little things like that? little glimpses of hope? does she have to drive us insane? i hate drama…thanks pancha, this was wonderful
Thanks for sharing.
see now why can’t the show do something like that… we are all starving for a smile, hug or god forbid a kiss from these two… thanks for this chapter…
tks much better than IC…
I was thinking the same thing as telizh in that the comment was in reference to Tina being with Helena. Or hell, she could’ve been talking about every relationship prior to being with Bette. We can speculate for the next 50 years on the reference(s) made in that statement, but I doubt we’ll ever have an absolute meaning of it. I just wish we could have more tender moments like Bette holding Tina and Angelica. But no, we have to look at one of the most dysfunctional relationships I’ve ever seen, real or fictional.
Great chapter Pancha. Again that is one that I wish we would see on the show. And with the lonely thing I also thought that could talk about when she was with Helena as well.. So maybe there is a shred of hope. I think the next epsiode will be the last one i watch until the seaon finale (I pray there is a season 4 to rectify things)
>>Tina held their child and Bette held both her girlsthis is indeed a scene to be repeated often. thank you for this.
Nice….and this must really be difficult to “re-write” because as you said S3 is so sad and dark….but you do a great job :o)) Please continue…