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    The Journey 9

    Story written on September 16, 2005 by unbeknown.
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    62 votes, average: 3.66 out of 562 votes, average: 3.66 out of 562 votes, average: 3.66 out of 562 votes, average: 3.66 out of 562 votes, average: 3.66 out of 5 (62 votes, average: 3.66 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 19
    Words: 2765
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=56621
    Author Notes:

    who is Sam anyway ? Bette makes a decision.

    Sam : “I wondered where you got to ?” she says to Tina. She extended her hand “Hi, I’m Sam, we met the other day, Bette, right ?”

    Bette : “Right, Sam, hello.” I extend my hand but not with any real conviction. Sam may not have noticed but Tina would have. “Please excuse me.” I didn’t look up. This was my worst nightmare, the thing I had feared the most that I was coming home to nothing, that Tina, didn’t want me, didn’t need me in her life. I felt Tina looking after me as I walked out, I could feel her eyes following me. I made my way to the front of the house, saying nothing to any one, my misery does not have to ruin their night. I called a cab on my cell. I felt my chest tighten. How could she not tell me, did she think I knew, how long, is it serious?  God, I am such a fool. There was my wife with another woman and my child. I admonished myself, what really did I expect after this long ? Tears welled up in my eyes, I willed myself not to let them fall. Will the cab ever get here ? Kit came out front looking for me, as she got closer I could see the concern on her face increase.

    Kit : “Bette, my God, what’s wrong ? Honey, sis talk to me” she reached out for me.

    I saw the cab coming down the street, I waved Kit off.

    Bette : “Did you know ?” Is there no end to what people don’t tell me ?

    Kit : “Know what ?”

    The cab arrived, I opened the door. I heard Tina talking to Kit, I heard Tina call out to me but I didn’t turn around. I didn’t acknowledge Tina. She must have followed me outside. I could hear Kit asking Tina what happened.

    I sat silently in the cab on the way home, I tipped the driver generously. I opened the door to the house and didn’t bother to turn the light on. I slumped on the couch in the dark, the house felt more empty than ever, or was it that it was more permanent. I made my way to the kitchen and poured a glass of water, took a mouthful and made my way to the couch. I sat on the couch and drank my water, sipping in sinc with my thoughts. I ran my other hand through my hair, I frowned. I walked up the mantle piece and took a picture of Tee and I from happier days. I had my arms around her on the beach, the wind blowing both of hair about. Not a care in the world I thought. I threw the picture down carelessly into the fireplace. I heard the glass shatter, I left it there, the fire wasn’t on. I pushed the other pictures off in anger, all in one quick shove. Nothing relieved the pain and frustration. Perhaps I should have not come home. I made my way to the art. It scoffed at how I’d selected it on the basis of how I was feeling, idiot, where did feelings get you ? I pulled out one drawing of a naked woman who had always reminded me of Tina, simple but beautiful. I placed in on the table. There was no point hoping for something that clearly was not going to happen. I maybe a lot of things, but I am definitely a realist. I may love you Tina but I can’t keep doing this. In that moment I gathered all my internal strength. No more Tina, I thought. You can have it all. I’d made my mind up, Tina could have it all, the house, Laurel, even choco (the puppy) and the art. I didn’t know if I was leaving or not. I’d wanted it resolved one way or the other right ? I chided myself, come on Porter you are better than this, you deserve better than this. Be gracious in defeat, you always knew it was a long shot. I resolved not to be difficult with Tina and Sam but from this moment on, we are nothing more than ex’s. Who are you anyway Sam ? I say it out loud to the broken photo in the fireplace “Do you hear me Tina, we nothing but ex’s”.

     

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    Comments

    4. after the shit ive learned in vancouver. im sick to death of people jumping to conclusions and not communicating. gawd, someone just ask a fucking question. have a hard, but a conversation. yes snQQpy a longer post may helped my frustration.

    8. Why is there so much tragedy in many of the B&T stories. It’s breaking my heart and I don’t know how long I can keep reading. (= You portray Bette’s feelings so well in this chapter. I feel like she is telling me this story herself and my heart is breaking with her.

      Too bad Bette didn’t visit my home country Finland. After all, she was traveling all around the country.

      Kiitos!

    14. Huh? What??? I’m sitting here all hopeful with my morning coffee–still trying to wake–no, to come to, only to see that Bette is still NOT WITH TINA! SHIT! I should have stayed in bed! ARGGHHGHHHH! I love your story, though, however sad it makes me…Your writing is very thought provoking…I just want some “happy thoughts” *lol*! (Oh yeah, there was the puppy wasn’t there?)…Ah, WTH! I guess I’ll just wait on your next post for that;)! Thanks!

    16. For an intelligent well educated woman sometimes Bette is so stupid LOL Somebody get the woman an interpreter so she can understand what Tina is saying!

    19. Oh, grow up Bette! If you love Tina that damn much then be a real woman and talk to her. Yes, you had an affair and yes she and your family hid your child from you. What were they supposed to say or do? It was your choice to leave, and I don’t blame Tina for being angry w/ you…not telling you about Laurel. But you love her. If every other proven fact in the world turns out to be wrong, one fact will forever remain the same…Bette, you love Tina.

      Grow some balls and get the answers you’re looking for. It’s time to end this pity-party of one and get your wife back.

      Oh, and thanks for naming the dog. Please post again soon. This story is adicting!

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