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The L Wing – chapter 261
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“Hey there “ I say walking in
Shane looks at me and smiles – she looks tired. I sit down beside her and hand her a coffee
“Thanks “
“How do you feel ?”
“Better than I was before the cute doctor gave me a shot “
“Shane – we are going to try and get you in somewhere tonight – you need help and we are worried in case anything happens to you “
Shane nods “I don’t have any fight in me Tina – I am so tired. Its been wonderful just to see Sophie – will you take care of her ?”
“Of course – she gets on so well with Ella. I would like them to spend more time together”
“That would be good “ Shane agrees – she tucks her legs under her and sighs
“How did I fall so deeply into this pit ?”
“It doesn’t matter – all that matters is that you are holding out your hand to get help “
“Will you speak to Carmen for me ?”
“Of course I will – do you know that she’s a free agent again ?”
“She didn’t tell me – why do you think she didn’t ?”
“She didn’t want to confuse you – she knows that you are having problems. Get well – do everything that the doctors say and before you know where you are you will be a different person and then Bette and I can start meddling in your love life “
Shane smiles and for several minutes we don’t speak
“Tina “
“Yeah “
“How long did it take you to start getting over what happened to you in Afghanistan ?”
“I didn’t for a long time – look how many years went by when all I was doing was pushing the pain deeper and deeper down. I was having nightmares on a regular basis – it was like carrying a huge weight around with me all the time. To mix a couple of metaphors it was the elephant in the room for me for over a decade. So when it flared up after the assassination attempt – it took a lot of work. I had pushed away some memories – memories that were too much for me to deal with. When I was hypnotised I relived every moment of what happened. That burst the dam – I cried harder than I ever have in my life – I was just in pain. Physically pain is something that most people cannot ignore – you kick the edge of the bed and you start hoping around cursing and swearing – you cannot ignore how much that just fucking well hurts. But emotional pain is just as real – the difference is that a lot of people can ignore that. Its like breaking a limb and ignoring the pain and you make the break worse and worse. I do know what you are going through – I killed two people Shane “
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Wonderful as always AllyE. That decision by Shane was the most important of her life. Addiction is so very hard on the person that is in the addiction and all those on the outside looking in as friends, lover,s mates and family because at some point all of them have been enablers of some sort. Shane will have a hard time with it but it is something with a lot of hard work she can overcome. And it will be an everyday thing for the rest of her life. As long as she has the support of Carmen and her family she should be able to continue in sobriety. The counselling will do a world of good for her and she has taken the most important first step in admitting that she needs help. Have seen this from countless people over a 20 yr. period in the legal field and from law enforcement. Spent 17 yrs. doing commitments everyday God sent us. When I first started it was usually 4-5 a month, when I left it was 4-5 a day, and sometimes more. It is unbelievable. Great chapter AllyE. Hope everything is going well for you and your mother. Take care and post when you can.
great chapter on so many levels, ally! awesome.
yeah shane is going for help!:)PPS
Okay, not gonna blame anyone for the heartbreaking moments. Wonderful writing Ally.
WOW that was wonderful and awesome, love it, hope Shane will get well soon!
Hello AllyE, Long time no comment. Life just keeps interrupting my ability to comment on your magnificent writing and most excellent story-telling. I am awe struck whenever I read your emotive words. I must admit a littel tear trickled down my cheek as I read this tragic and uplifting chapter. It was so sweet to have Bette and Tina offer all the love and support they could. This is genuine friendship. I do hope Shane is now in a good place to admit her failing and start her recovery. The bottom of the barrel has been reached so now is the4 time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again. I do think Carmen is there waiting to see how Shane deals with this. FO s Sophie’s sake I woant these two to reunite. Just so precious. Thank you so much for this wonderful adventure. Your Loyal Fan.
Amen to that Bette!!!!
Great and awesome update. Thank you!:)
Fortunately, for me, I have no experience with the addiction issue. It did touch my heart; thank you for continuing to write it fills my days.
wonderful chapter !!! I’m always so happy to see a post of this story.