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‘It’s starting . . .’
‘I know, I know,’ Tina said, a little breathless as she scurried barefoot across the hardwood floor towards where Bette was sitting.
‘Everyone okay?’ Bette asked, making room by gently pushing Solly, a cute, very sleepy Cocker Spaniel, along onto the end of the sofa.
‘Mhmm.’ Tina reached for the massive bowl of popcorn sitting on the coffee table in front of them. ‘I still can’t believe this thing got renewed,’ she chuckled.
‘It’s so bad,’ Bette shook her head. ‘You know I’ll divorce you if you tell anyone we still watch this?’
Tina giggled. Bette smiled, pouring them both some tea, and then picked up the remote and settled back. Immediately, Tina inched closer so that their bodies were touching. Bette turned and kissed her wife’s hair, then unmuted the TV . . .
‘Oh my God, she chose Dani!’ Tina said, grabbing the remote to pause the show.
‘“Oh my God”?’ Bette repeated. ‘What do you mean, “Oh my God”? That’s not an “Oh my God”, that’s an “Of course”!’ Of course she chose Dani.’
‘Oh, I know you like her but—’
‘I don’t like her.’
‘Yes, you do.’
‘No, I don’t. She’s just better than Finley.’
‘Better as in hotter.’
Bette opened her mouth to argue but the twinkle in Tina’s eyes melted her and she assumed a playful, pompous tone. ‘I admire her integrity,’ she said.
Tina raised an eyebrow.
‘And her professionalism,’ Bette continued.
Tina cocked her head.
‘And her shoulders,’ Bette muttered, taking back the remote and quickly pressing play again.
‘Ha!’ Tina laughed. ‘Busted!’
Bette just grinned. Tina cuddled closer.
A minute later they both erupted and yelled, ‘Liquor in the front, poker in the rear!’
Solly joined in with a little wuff as his mistresses raised their cups and clinked them together, remembering a poker scene from the OG show.
‘Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane . . .’ Bette said softly.
‘Fake Shane has got to find someone,’ Tina said.
‘Yes, Fake Shane does.’
‘So icky,’ Tina said, when Fake Alice, Nat and Gigi were all in the car together.
‘I don’t think Alice is into it, do you?’
‘Real Alice or this one?’