“So you’re saying I’m your type?” She looked straight ahead and kept talking.

            “Well, yeah, I mean you’re- what? Don’t give me that look. Al, come on!” She whined. She always dropped these little ‘we’re so perfect for each other’ hints without even realizing she did it. I loved when she did that. It gave me proof that her and Tonya were NOT meant to be.

            “You did it again, Dana.”

            “I know. I’m trying to stop.”

            “I just can’t quit you!” I sobbed dramatically, mocking the newest gay cowboy movie that had come out. She couldn’t hide her smile and she laughed. We finally got past most of the crowd, and I had a good view of the ship. It was freaking huge! It was covered in dark wood on the outside, the gleaming finish sparkled brilliantly in the sunlight. Metal bars covered in bright red paint acted as a railway off of the dock and onto the boat. There were two podiums with ticket guards standing behind them, and a rope blocking off the entrance. From what I could see of the inside, it was amazing. There was rich red carpeting all along the floorboards in the middle of the grand entrance hall. In the center of the room hung a gigantic dangling chandelier, sending sparkling light reflections all around the room. There were numerous hallways sprouting from the entrance hall, guided by the same carpeting, only now laced with golden swirls along the edges.

            I was too busy studying the boat to realize that everyone else had moved up in line to the left podium. I sprinted to join the group, sidling up next to Shane.

            “Check it out,” She whispered to me, nodding her head in Jenny’s direction. She was talking to the blonde behind the podium, who was laughing and flipping her hair incessantly.

            “Jesus fucking Christ!” I laughed out. “Could she be any more obvious?”

            “Well apparently obvious works.” Shane grinned as we watched Jenny take a small slip of paper from the girl. “Someone just scored!” I rolled my eyes and moved up in line, handing Jenny’s flirt my ticket.

            “You know, if you and your friend over there ever want to… hang out…” The blonde said to me, smiling. I heard Shan stifle a laugh and I elbowed her in the ribs.

            “Um…sorry. I have a girlfriend.” I mumbled, rushing up to Bette, Tina, and Jenny. Shane shot a curious look at me as she joined us a minute later. “It just…slipped out?” I said lamely.

            “We need to talk later, kay?” She gave me a stern look and didn’t wait for an answer before she slung an arm around Jenny and tried to pry the phone number from her pocket.

            “What was that all about?” Dana asked, coming up behind me.

            “Oh, Shane just wanted to know if I brought any Dramamine. You know her, sensitive stomach and all.” She shrugged not catching my bluff. I let out a sigh of relief, only to bump into Shane, who had stopped walking.

            “Oh, shit.” She muttered, pulled her aviator sunglasses down to the bridge of her nose. I almost dropped my bag when I saw who was standing in the middle of the room, looking around, scouting for our group. “Run and hide, quick!” Shane mocked, trying to shrink back against the crowd.

            “Fuck! I have to get off this thing.” I muttered, turning back towards the entrance. “Motherfucker!” The ramp was already being pulled up, crushing any plans of escape for me. I whimpered and tried to hide Dana behind Shane.

Too late.

            “Sweetie! There you are!”

                                                                             ***

            I can still hear the shrill, high pitched voice in my head today, perfectly. That’s a shame. Do you remember the girl Janice on Friends, the one with the really annoying voice and infectious laugh? Have you ever had to listen to a voice worse than that one? I have. Maybe that’s why I’m clinically insane.