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    The Roommates – Fast Forward to 2019: Chapter 22

    Did that mean she wanted it?

    Did that mean she enjoyed it?

    Was she doing the right thing in divorcing Sidney? Sidney was sick. She was an addict. Addiction was a sickness. Their vows had said for better or worse.

    Well, this was “worse”.

    “Dana!” she yelled.

    But Dana didn’t appear.

    With her voice cracking she yelled again, “Dana!”

    Bette leaned against the counter and slid down to the floor. She wanted the pain to stop. The thoughts and the doubt to cease. She knew the liquor would help. But she didn’t want to be dependent on it. Tina’s words had struck a chord with her.

    She didn’t want Alice to know how she was feeling. Alice had suffered enough. Bette had gotten three stitches and then they shared a pizza at The Planet. They talked mostly about Tasha and Alice’s job. It had been nice to think about something other than Sidney and violence and addiction.

    But now she was alone. And in the silence, her thoughts echoed loudly and without opposition.

    And Dana would not come.

    Tina had called her a few times and left her a few voicemails and text messages. Bette was mired in a world of chaos and she couldn’t answer. What would she say? Tina would see through her words. She’d know how desperate and weak she was. Tina had already seen her after the assault. Was that all she had to offer her beautiful 2005 soulmate? Tears and frustration? Weakness and neediness? She didn’t want to suck Tina into the vortex of her despair.

    There were more kinks to uncoil in the life of 2019 Bette Porter than she would have ever thought. Life wasn’t as easy as just finding Tina. Tina was the lynchpin of her 2005 existence. Tina was light and reverence for her. She couldn’t bring discord into their relationship. It was unfair.

    At last, Bette pulled herself up and opened the bottle. She recoiled somewhat at the smell. And then she poured the entire bottle down the sink. She walked into her bedroom and grabbed a bag, tossing clothes and toiletries into it as she went.

    Forty-five minutes later she rang Kit’s doorbell. When Kit opened the door, she took one look at her baby sister and pulled her into a tight hug.

    “I don’t want to drink, Kit. I didn’t know where else to go.”

    “Baby Sis, you came to the right place. My door is always open. I love you so much.”

    “I love you, too.”

    The sisters separated and the older Porter held the younger at arm’s length. “Come on in. Mom’s here. We were just taking a few pies out of the oven to cool. You know Dylan is going to lose his mind now that you’re here.”

    Bette wiped at her tears. “I don’t want him to see me like this.”

    “You go upstairs and shower. Relax as much as you need. Then come on down when you’re ready.”

    Bette nodded. “Thanks, Kit. So much has happened.”

    Kit shook her head. “You don’t need to thank me. I’m just glad you came.”

    Bette smiled. She was glad she had, too.

    Comments

    1. I think that Bette has made it crystal clear that she wants to terminate the relationship with Sidney. I hope that with some therapy that Sidney sees that Bette is finished. Bette needs to get the keys back from Sidney of the house and the gallery as well.

      Bette may need a bit therapy herself. I have heard that in a rape situation, it is not unusual to experience an orgasm. After all orgasm are responses from nerve stimulation to a point of release. That stimulation does not have be desired or welcomed to cause a orgasmic response. The brain generally can enhance the experience when it is desired by responding with pleasured moans and groans etc. The result of an orgasm during rape more times than not makes the victim feel guilty that they responded “positively” to the stimulation even though they had no desire and even a repulsion for the experience. As in this story, Bette is concerned that on some level she enjoyed the experience. No…her nerve systems simply responded to the stimulation as they would had the sex act been a welcomed one. It probably took more stimulation of the nerves to get her to orgasm. because her mind was feeling horror. A good physician or therapist can help her know that the orgasm was an ordinary response of her sex organs and their nerve ending being stimulated to the point of climax. It had nothing to do with her desires or some subconsciousness enjoyment of the act. This part when she understands the physiology of the body should at least get over her guilt of having an orgasm.

      • Thank you for this. I find your comments to always be insightful and thoughtful. As I round out the characters in this story and layer in the impact of this experience on Bette, I will definitely keep this in mind. I like the way you have clearly outlined why Bette’s body reacted the way it did.

        As has been stated before, maybe by you :) , she has many memories, but still the mindset of a 19 year old. This is going to be a challenging experience for her to process.

        • Martha3128 is more than a reader/fan. She is definitely a life coach 😍🍷

          Now. With that being settled, gosh, I LOVE that Bette ran to Kit for support!!!! She really made a life-saving decision with that move because Kit KNOWS how alcohol&drugs can easily send a person into the abyss. Kit would not see Bette as weak, insecure, or anything of the sort. Kit would be the safe haven with open arms. And she is.

          Bette is definitely conflicted with whether or not 2019 Tina will agree to be in her future as perhaps more than a casual friend.

          After all, even Tina is struggling with WHY she is so attracted to Bette, this person she hardly knows. She doesn’t understand any of it but keeps taking steps to follow Bette in spite of her own mistrust, Toward yet another person who wants her to “do what they want”. She has NO idea that at some point in Bette’s Life-path, they were young lovers (and that love has transcended space&time). Bette keeps saying, “I’ll tell ya later”. How will Bette explain the divergent realities of 2005 life and 2019 life??? 🤯😳😬

          The paradoxes in this saga are thrilling to say the least! 😋😜😃

    2. Thank you for posting, MTS.
      I’m impressed with Bette that she found the strenght to face Sidney. That should be a first step to healing as well. Thanks Martha for the explanation, that was my first thought too when I read the part of Sidney’s assault on Bette. Taking to a therapist would help.

      Finally Alice knows at least a part of what really happend. I hope that she doesn’t stop supporting Bette with Sidney because I don’t think that Bette should be all alone when dealing with Sidney’s affairs.

      I’m so glad that Bette was able to resist drinking again and that she went to Kit. Hopefully her sister will insist that Bette’s decision to separate from Sidney is the right thing to do. Even without Tina’s arrival on the scene Bette needs to end this toxic relation.

      Can’t wait for the next part!

      • Totally agree with this comment: “Even without Tina’s arrival on the scene Bette needs to end this toxic relation.”

        Sometimes people hang on because it’s easier than letting go. Sometimes having the right motivation can spur people to act. In any sense, Bette needs to move on in order to grow.

      • It’s a toxic relationship with Sidney of the mind that she “opens” Bette. She’ll use any method to control Bette, guilt, shame, if You leave, I’ll kill myself, you owe me, whatever!!

        Bette has a major battle to free herself from Sidney at this point. Never mind her own personal healing, body, soul & spirit.

        I’m glad she’s with Kit, but she’ll need to eventually tell her about the rape. The subversive pull of having been victimized by that type of trauma will require more healing than she has thus far experienced.

    3. Thanks for this powerful Chapter.

      As the others I am glad Bette did not resort to drink and went for help.

      On the same lines as the others that Bette needs therapy to help her with the rape Martha deals with this in her comment much better than I could.

      Look forward to the next post
      SG

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