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    The Roommates – Fast Forward to 2019: Chapter 46

    The Roommates – Fast Forward to 2019: Chapter 46

    Alice pulled Bette into a hug the moment the brunette stepped foot across the threshold of her home. “Don’t you ever do that again!”

    Bette hugged her back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left like that.”

    “No, you shouldn’t have.”

    “Thank you.”

    “I love you. I’m always here for you. Whether you like it or not.”

    Bette nodded.

    Alice let her pull away. “We had a nice party, lots of guests, a beautiful tree and then all hell broke loose.”

    Bette’s voice was quiet. “What am I going to do? I love her. I love her so much. The thought of her with him is driving me insane.”

    “One day at a time. Don’t let one moment define your future. If you love her like you say you do, then you’ll have many more moments. Let those be happy ones.”

    Bette sighed; her heart still heavy.

    “Sit down with me,” said Alice. They sat by the Christmas tree; their legs folded.

    “Do you understand why she did it?” asked Alice.

    “I understand, Al. I’m just…I’m hurt.”

    Alice held her friend’s hands in her own. “Don’t you think it hurt her, too? Don’t you think it hurt her to use her body to keep everything together? Do you think she liked it?”

    Bette frowned. “I don’t know.”

    “You do know.”

    “Maybe she didn’t,” said Bette.

    Alice smiled softly at her. “A little birdie told me you two made love all day. Does that seem like someone who would enjoy an obligatory fuck?”

    Bette shrugged. “Well, little birdies shouldn’t talk. And I don’t know.”

    “You do know!” said Tina. She was standing in the room, looking down at her lover and her newest advocate.

    “I don’t want to see you,” Bette whispered.

    “How long are you going to punish me?” asked Tina.

    Bette shook her head. “I’m not punishing you. I hate myself. I hate how I feel. I feel weak. I can’t trust myself with you, Tina. And, I can’t trust you.”

    Alice chose that moment to sneak away. She retrieved Tasha from the master bedroom and the two of them settled themselves in Bette’s guest room.

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    Comments

    1. Funny, they both resolve things like teenagers as well. This relationship is very new and there has been no real time to form trust or commitment for either of them. Bette is upset about Tina’s lying yet she fails to see that she has been in constant emotional turmoil – the impending gallery show, the attack, the addiction to drugs and alcohol, Sidney in rehab, the efforts to terminate her marriage, her own bad behavior, the finding of Tina and dealing with Tina’s not so straight forward behavior. With the exception of the first weekend they were together, there has literally been no real opportunity for Tina to talk to Bette when she didn’t have more problems than she could deal with. So she set out to fix her problems on her own once she believed that Bette loved her and wanted her.

      As to Bette, well she has not been exactly honest either. Although she told her about Sidney, she is still hiding the attack from her. Tina has made assumptions from Bette’s behavior and physical evidence. Not once has Bette made a straight out declaration that Sidney raped her. The simple fact that she did not want Tina to know shows a level of mistrust and shame. And for a few days Bette wondered if she could ever be intimate with anyone again. These are not circumstances which Tina felt comfortable adding to her concerns with the fact that she was also married and in a difficult situation in getting a divorce.

      And the big thing that Bette has yet to disclose is why she has a teenage mind in the body of a 34 year old woman. This is actually the most major event of her life outside of being born. Although, there may be no necessity to Tina about this, it is still a form of lying to Tina.

      Bottom line is that we all lie to certain extent. We withhold information in order to control the circumstances and influence outcomes. We disclose information when its convenient and at the most opportune times. Some times it works in our favor and sometimes it causes havoc. The bottom line is – what is the purpose behind these lies and non-disclosures? I do not think that Bette nor Tina have any purpose to harm the other. Both have a noble purpose in protecting and sparing pain for the other. As their relationship grows and they know one another better and can build their trust in one another, none of these lies and incidents will be very meaningful in their futures.

      Bette is still very immature. If Bette had known that Tina was married and Tina had come to her with her plan to keep Henry clam and in the dark, would Bette had granted Tina approval to have sex with Henry? I think not. I believe that this is a case that the only way Tina has to make her plan work was to have sex with Henry. She had already set the scene up with her mom in that she was thinking about having children and with her Dad that she and Henry would be moving to New York soon. You know Henry would tell her Dad if Tina and he were enjoying the bedroom, Henry would also confirm to Stephen that Tina was talking about having children and moving to New York. This is a case where the goal is a noble one and it would be far easier to get forgiveness than get permission.

      The importance or the meaning of sexual relationship are in the eyes of the beholder. Most people have been raised to believe that sex is an intimate sharing of ones body and soul and should be only to someone in which you are committed. However in getting to that committed relationship, many have used sex as a means of exploration, self-fulfillment, sport, tension release or even as a tool to meet some objective with someone whom they are not committed at all. In this story, Bette sees Tina’s sexual relationship as a betrayal of her relationship with Tina. Tina sees this sex as being a means to get what she wants – a pacified Henry and parents. Having sex with Henry is a means to be with Bette long into the future. In this story, both Alice and Tasha see that Tina had a noble purpose behind her act and the fact that she told the truth to all of them when asked should count for something. If Tina was lying to protect herself, she could have simply said No, I didn’t sleep with Henry. If Bette had a mature understanding of her relationship with Tina as it now exist, she would accept that this particular sex act was not a sharing of her body and soul for the purpose of dishonoring her relationship with Bette. As Tina said, I saw no other alternative.

      This is an excellent chapter. I hope that Bette will get to the point where she does feel she needs to go find the alcohol whenever something gets her emotionally upset. I hope she gets to a point that when there is conflict, she can simply go to the back yard and ask for some time of solitude rather than jumping in car and heading out on the highway. Tina has been a courageous soul in that she has always run toward the problem rather than delay and avoid it when it comes to Bette. Standing and fighting is not easy, but its the only way to get proper resolution.

      This chapter and the last one are really good. I see a great examples of what communicating and forgiveness can do in a relationship. There are always two sides to a story and somewhere in the middle lies the truth. Bette and Tina have a long way to go to build a solid relationship. But they did in 2005 as well. Neither are perfect human beings, but they are perfect for each other. They just need to work on their personal problems and get to know each other better.

      Thank you for this post…..love your story….

      • I love your analysis and heartily agree. You hit the nail on the head regarding Tina and why she slept with Henry. She needed to tow the line and ensure that her father and family all believe she is committed to them. It would be harder for her to explain the continued lack of intimacy after she spent so much time buttering him up.

        This piece of your analysis was particularly insightful:

        “Bette is still very immature. If Bette had known that Tina was married and Tina had come to her with her plan to keep Henry clam and in the dark, would Bette had granted Tina approval to have sex with Henry? I think not. I believe that this is a case that the only way Tina has to make her plan work was to have sex with Henry. She had already set the scene up with her mom in that she was thinking about having children and with her Dad that she and Henry would be moving to New York soon. You know Henry would tell her Dad if Tina and he were enjoying the bedroom, Henry would also confirm to Stephen that Tina was talking about having children and moving to New York. This is a case where the goal is a noble one and it would be far easier to get forgiveness than get permission.”

    2. Geez.. I have whiplash… your killing me… lol.. Bette is funny at the end and Tina has no right to be to upset.. Bette was acting out on a lie she was keeping from her.. how was she to know.. great chapter but if I were Bette I would want to know from now on where Tina was and what she was going to do before she did it..so they would be on same page.. I still dont see how having sex with Henry is helping her cause.. If money is moved what’s the fuck purpose.. there is more Tina hasn’t revealed just wanting to know is it going to hurt lol.. pull that fucking bandaid quick… so they can go back to bed.. lol. And I will work and read. Lol thank you great as always

    3. I’m 100 % with Martha. Basically my thoughts. :-)

      Tina had sex with her (still) husband to pretend and play the dutiful, happy wife. So what? She uses him to free herself from the shackles of husband, pre-nup and father.
      I’m still curious of her plan in detail though. The move to NYC would get evil dad off her back but it is also far away from Bette. Okay, that probably means Bette would be off Darth Kennard’s radar and therefore safe. But that can’t be easy especially in this fragile state of T + B’s relationship.

      I still think that Bette could help with Tina’s plan somehow. It could give her the feeling of control of their future together. Working together and freeing Tina would give her a new purpose and more confidence in herself.

      Oh and what a statement! “Because inside, I’m really an immature 20-year-old kid.”
      I guess that is as close to the truth as it gets. I can very well imagine that in time the old memory of her “other life” would be overwritten with the experiences of her older self. Bette would forget the other timeline and only remember the life of 2020’s Bette. Just like Dana vanished.

      Okay, getting way ahead of everything ;-)

      Thank you so much for posting and moving things forward. Please continue this beautiful work of yours.

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