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    The Second Step

    “I did.”

    They stared into each other’s eyes. 

    One heartbeat…Three heartbeats…Five heartbeats…Seven heartbeats. 

    “Did you want me to?”

    “I do,” Tina whispered. 

    Bette noticed Tina’s change in tense. 

    They continued to stare into each other’s eyes. 

    Nine heartbeats.
    11 heartbeats.
    13 heartbeats.
    15 heartbeats.

    Tina pulled Bette in tighter. Bette felt safe for the first time in a very long time. 

    17 heartbeats. 20 heartbeats. 25 heartbeats. 

    Lubdub.lubdub.lubdub.lubdub.lubdub.lubdub.lubdub.lubdub.lubdub.LUBDUBLUBDUBLUBDUBLUBDUB. Bette could feel Tina’s heart pounding in her ear. 

    LUBDUBLUBDUBLUBDUBLUBDUBLUBDUB.

    Bette put her hand on Tina’s chest…in between her perfect breasts. 

    “Your heart is beating really fast. Are you okay?”

    “I don’t know,” Tina said softly as she emphatically shook her head no. 

    Bette raised her eyebrows. She could see the tears about to brim over. 

    Bette pressed down as she splayed her hand across Tina’s chest. Tina took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. 

    “Again,” Bette pressed harder.

    Tina took another deep breath and exhaled slowly. 

    “One more time. Together.”

    Tina nodded. They took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, looking deeply into the other’s soul. 

    Tears rolled down Tina’s face. Being this close to Bette was too much for her. She needed space. Bette kept staring into her eyes.

    “Why are you crying?” Bette asked, knowing the answer already.

    “This…this…I…umm…I just miss you. I miss us. I miss this…talking to you like…like this. And I want to be able to tell you…” 

    Tina stopped talking abruptly. She took a deep breath and the tears started flowing again. Faster.

    “Tell me what?”

    “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I need to go to the bathroom. I’m sorry.”

    Bette sat up…still close but not too close. They both instantly missed the contact. 

    Tina stood up and took a step. Bette grabbed her hand. Tina audibly gasped. 

    One heartbeat. 

    Tina looked back over her left shoulder. 

    Two heartbeats.

    Three heartbeats.

    Four heartbeats.

    Five heartbeats.

    Bette squeezed and let go. She watched Tina slowly disappear around the corner. Bette ran her hands through her hair and made a decision. 

    ***

    Tina gripped the vanity with two hands and glared at her reflection in the mirror. 

    “What am I doing? What am I doing? You cannot crack like that. For fuck’s sake! Ugh!”

    Tina rolled her eyes.

    “Get your shit together, Kennard,” she chastised herself. Then she smiled because that was something Alice would’ve said to her. 

    Comments

    1. Thank you for the new chapter. I can feel my heart in my throat and my hr was over 100 during the reading.
      Exquisite writing, honestly! I’d like to say so much more, and analyze more but simply do not have enough words as a non-native EN speaker. I could just die and go to heaven with this story of yours.

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