“Ummmm…okay. Don’t get mad.”

“Hmmm…why do people start a story off like that when they know that the recipient of said story might in fact get mad?” Tina rolled her eyes.

Bette giggled.

“Speaking of Alice. Do you remember that time Kit left us two pieces of blueberry pie?”

Tina’s eyes got big.

“After Dana’s…”

“…birthday party,” they both said in unison.

“Yes. I do. I couldn’t believe Alice ate it.”

“Wellll…Alice…didn’t…eat…it.”

“WHAT!”

“I did.”

“You told me Alice ate it.”

Bette laughed.

“I know.”

“I confronted her about it.”

“I know.”

“She told me she didn’t eat it.”

Bette’s laugh got increasingly louder.

“I know.” 

“I didn’t believe her.”

“I knoooooooow.”

Bette was full on cackling at this point. 

“I can’t believe you ate my slice of pie and thennnn blamed Alice.”

Bette’s laughter filled the room. 

“Oh God…I was going to…to tell you. But you were sooooo mad.” 

“I was mad. I really wanted that pie and Kit went out of town for like two weeks after Dana’s party.”

Tina gasped.

“Is that why you had her make me two pies when she got back?”

Bette started laughing again.

“I thought you were being sweet. But I see now those were guilt ridden apology pies. I cannot believe you.”

“I paid for it. Alice cornered me about that pie the next day. She blackmailed me into taking her to one of your swanky Hollywood parties.”

Tina’s eyes got big. 

“That’s why you insisted she come to the premier of Charliz Theron’s movie.”

“Yep.”

“I cannot with you.”

Bette giggled. 

“Your turn.”

Tina shook her head. She playfully rolled her eyes. 

One heartbeat. Two heartbeats.

“Wanna do one more round?” 

Bette nodded.

“Ummm…I yelled at Melvin.”

“What? You did? When? Why?”

“I did. Kit invited him to one of your openings. The Allyn Barnes exhibit. And he came up with some lame ass excuse as to why he couldn’t attend.”

“He…wait…what happened?”

“Kit told me about their conversation. I had her call him again. He declined to come…again. So, I basically told him to go fuck himself…respectfully.”

Tina shrugged. Bette looked mortified.

“What did he say?”

“He said, ‘Ms. Kennard this is highly inappropriate’ and I told him that he wouldn’t have to worry about being invited to any of your future events. Then I hung up on him. And Kit just looked at me. Sort of like you’re looking at me now. Then she said, ‘Remind me to never piss you off’ and that was that.”