A shared friend had put it less discretely.  But really, it didn’t matter how it was phrased.  Simply, it was a betrayal of great magnitude.  The affair. 

“But as Alice pointed out succinctly, I was the only one who ventured outside of our relationship.” 

There it was.  Mention of the past transgression.   Though time had distanced them from the reality, the pain that sliced through both was still as pure.  The consequences truly unbearable.  The final blow…what broke everything that was left of their waning connection.  

Bette’s eyes shut tightly.  Then she admitted brokenly, “I’m numb over what I succumbed to.”

Silence filled the room.  Each woman was lost in the memory.  Of when their eyes met – while Tina sat quietly and Bette, standing by the closet caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror.  The moment when they looked across their bedroom and they both knew. 

Not breaking the intense stare, the woman partially unclothed approached slowly.  Tina stood, then said the exact words that Bette did earlier. 

‘I know.’ 

What followed was just as raw and filled with hurt. ‘I saw…’  The scene continued, in their present as Bette choked, "I’m sorry."

“Di…” Barely audible and unable to voice the word completely, she cleared her throat.  Then tried again. 

“Did you love her?”  Tina’s voice dropped, finishing low and serious.  The earlier pitch marked with calm and concern when she admitted ‘It wasn’t just you’ was all but gone.  The monotone that replaced it held an undertone of veiled apprehension and disquiet. 

And yes, anger.

An anger that kept her from Bette before today.  One that tested and ate away at her spirit as she wailed silently in other people’s homes.  Then alone in her own apartment.  Fueled by confusion.  Helplessness.  Emotional and physical ache.  Heartbreak. 

She visualized it yet again.  Bette. Her Bette and that woman.  How she reached for her and hesitated letting go.  How that look…that touch, was once reserved, only for her.

Tina thought back to the recurring reflection during the initial weeks.  On days in the months that followed.  On the day they were at the lawyer’s.  And today.  That her heart ached and her whole being constricts at the thought of her partner with that woman.  The carpenter who took down her life with deft precision with Bette as her implement.