Naturally, with what was said, another silent pause stretched between them.  The only sounds sharing the space were the measured breaths from the one who just spoke and a more strained exertion from the other.

Then came Tina’s small response. “And I wasn’t.” Her tone was devoid of sensitivity.

Shaking her head, “I didn’t say…” Bette began before the look from the woman across the length of half the room stopped her from saying more.  The urge to admit full responsibility was never far, having committed the egregious act that opposed everything she believed and wanted to uphold.

“Was it me?”  A still doubtful Tina asked. Her voice trembled as she ventured on, “Was I not…?”

“No, no, no.”  Bette refuted with feeling.  She reiterated earlier words, further negating the concept.

“Tina no.” She tilted her head to the left, her hair falling from her shoulder, curling inward to rest against her sternum.  The dark locks settled in place with a healthy breath that filled her chest.

“We were – I was so broken and wasn’t sure of anything.  It was easy to lose myself in the physical release.  She was willing.”  She winced then disclosed softly, “So was I.”

“In the end it had everything to do with what mattered…but when it happened, I felt so far removed from it.  So detached from her.  I couldn’t hurt her because there was nothing more than that she wanted to sleep with me.  It wouldn’t hurt me because it had nothing to do with you.  For some insane reason I didn’t see it touching you.” 

Bette sighed grudgingly, then scowled at her past actions.   “The latter reasoning was obviously faulty.  But at the time I had convinced myself it was nothing and completely apart from what meant anything.” 

“I know it seems uninspired as you aptly pointed out before but it was just sex.”  Bette confessed. 

They both turned toward the chimes that were positioned by the French doors that led to the backyard.  The soft breeze that triggered the sound worked its way through the house to the area where they sat, through the window Tina had opened earlier as she took stock of her environment.  The freshness of the mid-morning air joined them and their memories.  Although the unsullied scent lost the battle to rejuvenate amidst the grim recollections of mistakes that brought them to the present.