My thoughts return to my friends who’ve welcomed me to their homes. Between Alice’s and Dana’s, I haven’t been living at the house for about ten months now. I’ve been by a few times, forcing the surrender of my belongings. At least my essentials – many personal and jointly owned articles left in place.

I voiced finding a place of my own but they were quick to assure me I didn’t need to on account of any thought about inconveniencing them. For the most part as I was busy at the Center during the day, I only saw Alice in the evening which allowed her to work. I just wasn’t sure if I cramped her style and any plans for evenings. Come to think of it she hasn’t been seeing anyone as far as I know, she mainly spends time with Dana or me. They seem closer than I thought they were but that’s another story.

My time with both really enjoyable, reminiscent of college years where just hanging out felt so right. Still, this couldn’t go on forever. After all, we graduate from college eventually.

Of course our almost daily sojourns to the Planet with Shane, Carmen, Jenny and frequently someone’s squeeze of the moment was still routine. The only palpable tension provided by Bette’s absence especially when Kit joined us in conversation. This was mostly ignored though per an unspoken agreement among them.

It’s obvious they purposely avoid bringing her into the conversation for my benefit. It must take a lot of effort on their part given the history among all of us. I was especially appreciative of the lack of mention of her during the aftermath of our fallout but I’m sure it’s not easy for them.

An unfair consequence of a broken relationship within a group of friends.

I know they remain in contact with her especially Alice and more recently Shane. Slips in discussion revealed their paths crossed with her still. That is, on a different schedule than when I prefer when visiting here or in locations certain of my absence.

I should make it clear that they no longer needed to do that. Friends shouldn’t have to bear through this maze of hurt with us. Perhaps the dulling pain given the spread of time as each day passes contributes to this sentiment.