Fan Fiction
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The Telling
Almost at the back of my mind, I heard a car door slam on the street outside. The neighborhood was usually quiet during the day – she had always commented on how being home alone in the daytime often threatened to drive her crazy, but it was one of the reasons why we had bought the house here in the first place. The peace of domesticity seemed to envelop our street, and the two of us, and encourage us to settle, to nest, and to flourish. It was all we had ever really wanted for ourselves and each other.
The sound of footsteps in the driveway opened my eyes and I felt myself frown, squinting against the glare of the pool towards the house, where I heard the familiar sound of the door closing. Almost without thinking, I pushed the laptop aside and got up from the chair, hurrying towards the door and grasping the handle firmly, entering the house in a matter of seconds.
My gaze swept the interior as my eyes adjusted from the brightness outside. Blinking a couple of times, my face deepened in confusion as I saw nothing out of place. The empty spaces on the mantle where she had removed her favorite statues still mocked me with their blank chasms and I moved towards the bedroom in a valiant attempt to ignore them. Hearing a drawer open and close, I crept towards the doorway and peered around the frame, my heart beating loudly in my chest as I feared the worst.
She was bending over the huge dresser by the wall, rummaging through clothing and occasionally throwing garments behind her onto the bed. My breath caught in my drying throat as I allowed my eyes to travel the length of her body. Her shoulders tensed slightly, the definition of her hard work at the gym showing itself in the taut muscles underneath the skin that glowed healthily against the white of her tank top. Her navy blue skirt (one I had bought, a favorite of hers) clung to her hips and hid the form that I had longed for since her absence. I was aware of nothing except the sight of her, back home again where she belonged, the curious mixture of joy and pain rushing into my lungs and out between my lips in a long, ragged sigh.
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(85 votes, average: 3.95 out of 5)
gaymo, your writing is exceptional. Great job!
Gaymo, very nice, as good as the first time but where is part 2. Don’t tease its not kind :0. Who is on the cell phone?
Whao, that was great, no worries about bruising, because that was phenomenal. Well written, you should continue.
You have a great handle on the way words flow and an excellent vocabulary. The sentences take on a languid quality which reflects Bette’s inertia very well. Perhaps dividing this into chapters would make it easier for those of us with short attention spans.
Five stars and two cold showers (at least). That was HOT, gaymo, and beautifully written.
Wow! This is excellent writing! I wish i could write as beautiful as this!!! Keep em coming please..
I can’t remember where I’ve read this before………but, that’s not important…….I just want more……please! ;D 5-stars
incredible writing. i don’t think you need to worry about bruising when you write like this. fantastic, please write more. thanks! :)
Gaymo..this is absolutely great…more soon….and i love the name..”You big gaymo…” hehehehe
Does the end mean the end or TBC. That was womderful,well written. Letting us know that Tina still loves Bette,but can’t be with her because of all the hurt. Thanks
amazingly written, well done!
This is extraordinary. I loved it the first time I read it and have been longing for a next chapter ever since. Please follow this up with something–ANYTHING!
Gaymo, that was some excellent storytelling. Man…pick me up off of the floor!
This was incredible. As I was reading, I kept thinking that this can only end badly, but I couldn’t stop from reading it anyway…one hand periodically hitting the down arrow button on my keyboard, the other clenching the arm of my chair. Thanks!
WoW! The flow was great, the vivid imagery was very well used and the internal thoughts are well written, graciously weaved into the whole story. Articulate and clear language. Very well done. Like JB said, sex can be a lot of things, it can be about power, reconnection, and other things… and yours have been graciously and beautifully written to reflect as reconnecting as well as asking for forgiveness.
wow. totally impressive writing!!!!
This is sooooooo good, Gaymo. And I know the American went back home so you should have plenty of time to write more for us. Put the Bailey’s down and get busy.
holy hootin’ hell! That was AMAZING! you capture their pain and just, wow, just that’s crazy good. I’m floored really, so glad to read some quality BT emotional storytelling. I hope this isn’t the end for this story!!
oh my goodness, you made me cry. you write very visually i can just see bette’s heart breaking… who is on the phone? will you please write a part 2? you’re really doing a wonderful job
Please let it be Tina on the phone. Just asking for some more time. Anything to ease this ache. You are sooooo good at this, gaymo!!
Absolutely wonderful writing – you capture the conflict of continuing love with the pain of betrayal so wonderfully. Exceptional
I’m never writing again. I swear to god. Anything I could come up with would be like lining up a hand tracing that became a turkey with a New York Times best-seller. :D To say this was incredible would be an insult. I still feel the ache in my chest. Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, please write more. Soon. Now? :P 5 stars!!
Hahah cramit! i was thinking the same thing.. right now i feel like i couldnt write anymore… All i want to do is wait for the next chapter… :D Gaymo please write soon… dont let your Portard family down!
Exceptionally well written.
That was incredible. Again i say, I don’t know how you guys do it.
I just don’t know what else to say. That was just great!!
Could you please use your wonderful literary and writing talent for good…and put them back together? Your story has moved me to tears.
wow!
Oh my god!
How great is that story, it moved me so much with your expression and use of words, ( i even shed a few tears) you are truely a great writter, keep up the good work.xxx
Just wanted to reiterate my desperate need for you to continue this story. The ache while reading this……it’s still unbelievable. Your writing is amazing. Please, please continue this. :)
that was amazing, seriously. amazing. thank you