“It’s just that things like these really make you think a lot. It helps you put everything in perspective. It’s just so cruel that some accident like this, the death that is luring, has to bring you to the point where you can do that. It shouldn’t be necessary.”

“What do the doctors say?” Shane wasn’t insensitive or anything, I knew she would process what I had told her, she would think about it.

“They don’t have much hope.”

“And how are you doing?”

“I have to cope with it, right? I just feel so… I feel like I’m a jackass because I can’t cry. I just can’t believe that this has happened, because of me.”

“It’s not your fault, Bette.”

“It is,” I said, realising how bitter my voice sounded. “If I had just gone there, to that stupid thing with Jessie, or if I had just called Tina to tell her where I was, she wouldn’t have come looking after me and the truck wouldn’t have hit her and I would be in her arms right now, I would be hugging her and telling her she was the world to me.”

I didn’t realise it until I tasted the salt on my lips. I had released my first tear and I knew there were many to come. There was no fighting it.

“You would be at work now and Tina would know how much she means to you,” Shane said dryly. She was now comforting me. “She has always known. She was a wreck when you were apart, but she wouldn’t admit it, she wouldn’t admit even to herself how hurt she was and how much she felt for you. But you have found each other, because of what you did. You were there for her when she really needed someone. She has finally, finally processed the death of Tiffani.”

“And now she could be dying because of me.”

“Bette… whatever happens, you have to know that she loves you to death.” She smirked. “Sorry for the expression. Anyway, you will get through this. I want her to live as well, of course I do. But if she doesn’t, we all know that she was a wonderful person and she will live in our hearts and in the memories of all those who she helped get through rough times. It will take a lot for Tina Kennard to be forgotten.”