It surprised me that Rachel did not seem more upset about Andy leaving but chose not to stay. After last night I felt that they would have needed to be together. When I asked Rachel if she was ok with this she just seemed to stare of into nowhere and smile to herself. After a while I thought that she was not going to answer then she snapped back into realty and amazed me all over again with her answer.

“She will be back soon. She is away from me at the moment but thanks to you guys she is finally headed back towards me. It was always harder for her she lived through all of this.”

I didn’t know whether to push or not so I just waited to see if she would expand on what she meant.

“I don’t remember anything of the attack I was well on the way to recovery when I awoke. She saw all my wounds and I know it haunts her dreams still. She got only minutes with our daughters I had been with them for six months. She had to stand by and watch them die when all I ever had to do was accept that they had gone. She took a backseat because everyone seemed to think that I was the one who had suffered most. She feels guilt for not being there for not being good enough to stop what happened, for letting me, us down. Really she should feel proud she has survived on her own while I have had so many people she has dealt with it all and kept me shielded from anything that may hurt me. She laughed tonight for the first time in eighteen months. That means that she is coming back to life. If it takes the rest of our lives for her to be back with me completely then I would wait. She is my other half; each step she takes will heel us both a little more.”

We sat and talked and I came to understand both of these amazing women a little more as the sun went down. I saw the different guilt’s they carried and the ways they had found to forgive each other the terrible thing that they had done before coming to L.A. Rachel explained how she had really had the chance to grieve and how she felt that Andy had not until recently started to accept that the world was still going on and how she had always been the best support but how much she desired to be with her wife as a couple and not just because they had been through what they had but because they wanted to.