“Yes, you do. This is serious.” She says joining in on the playful banter. “Now, to us. For surviving the last eight months with and without each other. To the light at the end of the tunnel, may it bring us true happiness.”

“Damn right!” I say before knocking back a good bit of the drink.

“Tina, have you been drinking? I mean besides cider?”

“Yes, Principal Porter I have been. I was with Shane, Dana, and Alice.”

“You were? How come no one called me?”

“I suspect it was because we wanted to talk about you, you know candidly.”

“You guys are unbelievable.”

“Yes. Now shhh. I need to read a bunch of this awful script and take notes. Plus, you need to keep your voice down anyway.” She nodded.

After a while of instrumental classical music, Bette spoke up. “T, do you mind if I play DJ, with what you’ve got?”

“Go for it,” I say without looking up. God this script is truly terrible. I hope that the studio didn’t play too much for it.

She starts to play the Heather Nova album that I brought to New York. I brought it on a whim when I went back and listened to it obsessively for a while. This was all before Eric came into the picture. When Bette still invaded every fiber of my being. Tonight though, with Bette at my side, it seems sadder. Like all of the crying that I did for Bette was all for nothing. Because everything I wished for then, to have her be by my side was happening now. But she didn’t belong to me. Just when I think that I can hold it together and just get through the album without going too far into the past, ‘It’s Only Love’ comes on. This was the song that destroyed me. I had forgotten the song was on here until this moment. After hearing it a couple times in New York, I had enough. I always skipped it in future listens. It was too on the money, too raw. But I can’t really get out of it now without causing a scene.

 I used to think that I knew what we needed

I just assumed we would always be fine