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    Uncharted Territory

    ‘Fuck you.’  

    ‘Wait even better.’ Pacing slowly through the room like a cat on a mission she scrolls through the phone. ‘Let me see… B… Bette, Bette oh here. Let’s call Bette.’   

    ‘No! Don’t you fucking dare! Hang up right now!’ Flying from the bed I try to snatch the phone away from her ear. While she keeps me at arm’s length the dial tone fills the room and makes my heart beat for the first time again. ‘I swear if you don’t hang up right now I will…I will… arrggg.’

    ‘My, my look at you, you’re out of the bed and you almost said a full sentence.’ With a sly smile she disconnects the phone and looks me up and down. ‘Goodness you look…’   

     ‘Don’t call Bette.’  

    ‘She’s your…’  

    ‘I’m not sure.’ I cut her and sit back down on the bed feeling so tired that I wonder if my legs will ever be able to carry me again.  

     ‘What you’re not sure?’    

    ‘If.. you know.. if she’s still…If we’re still…’ A silent stream of tears runs down my cheeks. Today I didn’t find enough courage yet to drag myself down to the mailbox to see if this is D-day, Divorce paper Day. Twisting my wedding ring I wonder if Bette already took hers off.  

    ‘Here.’ The mattress sinks down, I feel an arm around my shoulder and cold metal against my fingers makes me open my eyes. ‘It will do you good.’ She encourages me to drink from the pocket bottle. Shrugging my shoulders I take a big gulp.   

    ‘Jesus Motherfucker, that’s disgusting.’ The strong liquor burns its way down my throat causing my eyes to tear up even more, wiping them with my sleeve I sniff and look at her quizzically. ‘Do you always carry that with you?’     

    ‘Just in case of emergency.’ She shrugs her shoulders in her turn and continues in a soft voice that I rarely hear her using. ‘Married people sometimes take a break from each other, just so they can find each other again, that doesn’t mean they are not married anymore.’   

    ‘You don’t understand. It’s over. Done. Fairytale gone bad. I fucked everything up. I broke everything.’  

    ‘Take a sip darling.’ She urges when a new stream of hot tears forces its way through my lashes. ‘Will you please, for the love of god, finally tell me what happened?’  

    Comments

    1. Another great chapter. Enjoyed Bette & Tina’s interaction with Helena and Winny – very entertaining, at the same time it revealed so much, as Helena said about the night being therapeutical. Very well-written.

      My favorite line –
      “When I asked her to marry me I knew I would only ask that question once and only to her.”

    2. Bette and Tina need to have some long discussions…. they need to have discussions about their expectations of the other. What role will their careers take in their personal lives? Do they really want children and if so when? Where would they like to live and why? What are their hopes and dreams? What is it that they most fear? How can they remind each other how important they are to one another – beside lots of sex.

      They need to have one discussion about the past and then put it away…. take ownership for their own mistakes and choices. Become aware of the signs that things are not right and need to be adjusted. Put their lives on a reasonable schedule – no more of this move to a new city, getting a new job and trying to have a baby all in the same year. They need to schedule some family time and some couple time. And they need to learn to communicate… almost to the point that they empty their minds to each other and hold nothing back. They need to share the duties of house and family together… neither of them totally responsible for say the cooking and the laundry. Joint project builds connection…. and they need connection.

      In this chapter, Bette describes what marriage means to her – a life time commitment to one person. That says to me that Bette will never instigate a divorce… if there is to be a divorce, Tina will have to start the process. And even if divorced Bette will never marry again. Those are truly remarkable sentiments for a person in this day and time. Of course if divorced, Bette might see other women. She just won’t purpose to another woman. That is how she feels at this time. I believe she is sincere and I also think that Tina is hearing this for the first time. She probably had no idea how Bette felt about marriage. I find Bette’s sentiment admirable….

      Thanks for the chapter…

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