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‘Wait even better.’ Pacing slowly through the room like a cat on a mission she scrolls through the phone. ‘Let me see… B… Bette, Bette oh here. Let’s call Bette.’
‘No! Don’t you fucking dare! Hang up right now!’ Flying from the bed I try to snatch the phone away from her ear. While she keeps me at arm’s length the dial tone fills the room and makes my heart beat for the first time again. ‘I swear if you don’t hang up right now I will…I will… arrggg.’
‘My, my look at you, you’re out of the bed and you almost said a full sentence.’ With a sly smile she disconnects the phone and looks me up and down. ‘Goodness you look…’
‘Don’t call Bette.’
‘I’m not sure.’ I cut her and sit back down on the bed feeling so tired that I wonder if my legs will ever be able to carry me again.
‘What you’re not sure?’
‘If.. you know.. if she’s still…If we’re still…’ A silent stream of tears runs down my cheeks. Today I didn’t find enough courage yet to drag myself down to the mailbox to see if this is D-day, Divorce paper Day. Twisting my wedding ring I wonder if Bette already took hers off.
‘Here.’ The mattress sinks down, I feel an arm around my shoulder and cold metal against my fingers makes me open my eyes. ‘It will do you good.’ She encourages me to drink from the pocket bottle. Shrugging my shoulders I take a big gulp.
‘Jesus Motherfucker, that’s disgusting.’ The strong liquor burns its way down my throat causing my eyes to tear up even more, wiping them with my sleeve I sniff and look at her quizzically. ‘Do you always carry that with you?’
‘Just in case of emergency.’ She shrugs her shoulders in her turn and continues in a soft voice that I rarely hear her using. ‘Married people sometimes take a break from each other, just so they can find each other again, that doesn’t mean they are not married anymore.’
‘You don’t understand. It’s over. Done. Fairytale gone bad. I fucked everything up. I broke everything.’
‘Take a sip darling.’ She urges when a new stream of hot tears forces its way through my lashes. ‘Will you please, for the love of god, finally tell me what happened?’