‘That’s not possible.’ Gently I pull back my hand, rudely waking her from her dream once again. I can’t allow to get lost in what once was while nothing is solved.

At the loss of contact, she raises herself up and walks over to the window, distancing herself from me. Once again she rests her head against the cool glass, her voice showing cracks. ‘My life fell apart Tina.’

The sight of her landing back on earth is not always a pleasant one, especially now when it’s a painful reminder of being on the ledge. Quickly I gather my stuff in desperate need of fresh air. But also needing to remind her that I am on that ledge with her. ‘It’s not only your life that fell apart Bette.’

Bette’s POV  

Like every year, this day came, a week after I saw the apartment again. And unlike every year, I’m alone. Even last year when things were heading toward rock bottom we paid attention to it. Today six years ago Tina and I met. Six years since my life got turned upside down and it would never be the same after the moment I laid eyes on her. Every year since then I used to take her out for dinner and she used to buy me a small present. Besides our wedding anniversary this is the day that I always found worth to celebrate the most. This year there won’t be a dinner, nor a present, we won’t tell each other the story of our first meeting, there won’t be making love afterwards. This day there will be silence at its best.

Behind me Renee is in a deep morphine sleep. Since yesterday she started needing it, when the pain became unbearable. I’m sitting on the windowsill, my back leaning against the wall and my face turned to the view. Paris is bathing in a watery winter sun, during golden hour. Giving the city a magnificent golden glow. The view is spectacular but it misses to have any effect on me. I lower my look and see people rushing by on the streets, walking in and out of the hospital. Rushing back from work, caring grocery bags, probably in a hurry to get home to spend a cozy night with their families. Six years ago I could completely picture starting a family with the beautiful woman I had just met. When that thought hit me, that night in bed, I laughed out loud at my own craziness. But just like in novels, famous love songs and romantic movies, it was love at first sight. Right there and then in that bookstore, the moment I met those enchanting hazel eyes, I just knew, I felt it with every fiber of my being. Even now, when things are the most acrimonious between us, I have no doubt she is the love of my life. My eyes wander to the park opposite of the road, a green oasis in the concrete jungle. I feel a sharp pang in my heart as I discover a lonely figure sitting on a bench, starring at the small pond in front of her, her blonde hair as a golden halo around her head. And just like six years ago, that person on that bench has a magnetizing attraction on me. Without thinking I grab my coat and in a haze I leave the room and make my way downstairs in a fast pace.