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    Was it Time Wasted?

    Story written on March 28, 2011 by Journey1962.
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    61 votes, average: 3.75 out of 561 votes, average: 3.75 out of 561 votes, average: 3.75 out of 561 votes, average: 3.75 out of 561 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5 (61 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 15
    Words: 12253
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=77116
    Author Notes:

    A one time complete story. A Tibette/Journey1962 Mashup

    “Pretty much.”
    “So Bette you were in you mid twenties.  But Tina you well into your forty coming out.  What took you so long? And why then?”
    “Well it was mostly being in a committed marriage even an unhappy one.” Tina takes a breathe, “I believe in marriage, I always have.  I believe in hang tough through the hard and unpleasant parts of being in a relationship.  I said for better or worse.  But while I was in that relationship I like I said early suppressed my sexually… how can I say this… my sexually desire towards the female form.  As I also mentioned earlier my husband and I were heavily involved in church and in my heart I felt my desire towards women was wrong because I was married I need to point all my sexual energy, if it were, towards my husband.  But I couldn’t most of the time.  I couldn’t help how I felt.  I was torturing myself.  Feeling bad about myself because I desired to be with a woman more than with my own husband.”
    “So you said you were faithful earlier.  You never acted on those feelings?”
    ‘Not while married, no.  But only in my mind.  So when he choose to leave me, it freed me.  It took some time to fully accept my sexually as just being a part of who I am.  I told Kerwin about my desire for women in the past a few years after we were married.  I was feeling like I needed to come clean with him. But when we were in the midst of our separation years later he tried to use that knowledge of my past against me.  He came to my job and wanted to try to blackmail me into being silent about him and the Pastor‘s daughter.  By that time I was so free about my past that I didn‘t care who he told.  I figured the past was the past and it couldn‘t be changed.  That evening I went home and shared with my children that when I was a young adult I was in love with a woman.” looking loving over towards Bette.
    “How did they take it?”
    “It didn’t matter to them one bit.  My youngest, who was fourteen at the time, did ask a few questions.” Tina laughs remembering the somewhat embarrassing questions.  “But other than that it went great.  That was almost eight years ago and they still love me and they just adore Bette.”
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    Comments

    1. It was courageous of you to share your story with us. Things happen in our lives for a reason and they help shape who we are now. I wish you happiness and peace.

    2. This is my first time leaving a comment. I enjoyed your story. I related to some of this story. Here’s to a new chapter and may your journey be an amazing one!

    3. Thanks for sharing the story and wisdom “…They were a time of learning and preparation for the good to come in your life…” :-) very touching and encouraging. Well, you might be shy as you said, and I really don’t know you, but I believe that you are a brave one ;-) proven by sharing this story and openly telling this is based on your experience. Wishing you happiness and love.. :-)

    4. You were brave to share a part of yourself with us. I can so truly relate to your story. I am 44 years old, and I have known of my attraction to women since I was about eight years old, but has never been with a woman, lead the so call normal life for about 10 years from the age of 14-24 and then just left the whole scene alone and decided to just be alone,not fair to men and too much drama with women. Good Luck to you. And yes please an update on “Stripper”, I love that story.

    5. I’m glad that a number of you can relate to this story in some way. I know a lot of us read for pure entertainment and to escape a little bit. But I also like to read to gain a little insight sometimes. As a shy person, I tend to be very introspect, too much in my head. As you can tell by the way that I write :) So one day when that special woman comes into my life I hope that I don’t over think things too much. :) Thanks for the well wishes. I am looking forward to loving again, the right person. Best wishes to those who search as well.

    6. How brave you are. It takes an amazing person to see themselves as clear as you do. Best wishes on your journey to your true self…I hope you find more happiness along the way.

    7. It takes some courage to write the way you have. I hope you feel better for it! Your handle makes a whole lot of sense now and I too wish you the very best on the journey you have embarked on :0)

    12. Glad to see your post and WoW! Such fortitude and insightful story, revealing too! Perception of God, faith and love is a cause of many struggles and debates; thank you for sharing a glimpse in your journey. Any way to have realization sooner rather than later is great! Please don’t take long to update the other story.

    13. Got to the end of the story and realized I was crying. I could insert my name for Tina’s… 3 kids, a 19-year marriage ending after my ex cheated, and a similar “Bette” in my past. Thanks for sharing your experience and I agree with you about not regretting the past. From one shy, over-thinker to another, I wish you love and happiness on your journey. I hope you find someone

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