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    When It All Became 8.5

    Story written on March 27, 2005 by pseud.
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    122 votes, average: 3.42 out of 5122 votes, average: 3.42 out of 5122 votes, average: 3.42 out of 5122 votes, average: 3.42 out of 5122 votes, average: 3.42 out of 5 (122 votes, average: 3.42 out of 5)
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    Character(s): N/A
    Number of Comments: 8
    Words: 1931
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=52809
    Author Notes:

    Bette confronts Tina after the bachelorette party. Bette’s POV.

    Her hand pushes against me. I know she’ll stop. She’ll understand if only she listens to her body. It will tell her. It won’t betray us as mine did. I take hold of her hand so that she’ll stop trying to push me away. She doesn’t understand.

    She’s letting me kiss me. She’s actually letting me. And I get a sick thought. Did Helena Peabody kiss these lips? Did Tina give herself up to that *****? I can’t enjoy this.

    I pull back as my stomach churns at the thought. Tina. My Tina. My wife. Touched by that *****.

    It’s then I see her. I really see her. ***** me! She’s crying.

    I take a deep breath. As I do, Tina fades before me, sliding down the wall. Now is when it all becomes red and black. My thoughts and what I want, swimming through a murky haze.

    I see her, on the floor, curled up like a small child. Sobbing. And it hits me. Slams into me like a karmic freight train. Tina. Again. I’ve done it again. No wonder she’s running from me.

    I love her so much. How can I love her so wrong?

    I get her to her feet and into bed. I still want her so much it aches. The thought of this, of what I was willing to do, makes the bile rise in my throat. I run for the bathroom, retch the contents of my stomach. I rest my forehead against the cold porcelain of the bowl. It takes a moment before my stomach quiets.

    Tina. I need to calm Tina. What have I done to her, to our child?

    I bring a cool washcloth with me from the bathroom. She’s still crying, sobbing. Curled up like our baby within. Not responding. What have I done? I wipe her face, offering comfort. It does nothing to squash the flow of tears.

    I’ve removed her shoes. I want to take off her dress, get her into something else for sleep. But after the hallway, the thought of Tina, of my taking Tina, remains too strong. My hands undressing her. I honestly don’t trust myself.

    Instead I pull a chair beside the bed and sit. I’ll wait. I’ll wait here for her. I’ll wait for as long as it takes.

    How can I make her understand that my love for her is this powerful? How can I explain this to her in a way that she’ll understand? In a way that won’t hurt us both?

    I curse the day I ever went to New York, ever met Peggy Peabody’s evil spawn.

    This isn’t over. I love Tina. I love our baby. We will have our family.

    (the end)

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    Comments

    2. Thank you to all who have commented. I truly treasure all comments.

      Wayout – please do NOT apologize for what you wrote here, or in the other story. This story is meant to be unsettling. It’s not particularly flattering to Bette. I did write it to be “provocative” (so to speak).

      For those seeking more, this was intended as a one-off (two-off?) what if. Well, part 8 was. Part 8.5 occurred because I thought more did need to be said.

      Again, Thank you all (and I hope some of you see this comment.)

    8. Fantastic!! This line is perfect: “I love her so much. How can I love her so wrong?” Excellent. I do feel a fool for my comments on the previous chapter, but I guess that’s the idea of looking at life from different points of view. You definitely posted in the right order, too. These stories are so good. Thank you!

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