Fan Fiction
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Why?
The silence outside was almost deathening. As darkness settled, and the street lights provided the only light, since the moon had dissapered amongst the clouds. The small street was quiet, and still. All but one person…Shane. She couldn’t sleep, she just lay awake motionless. But she had great reason too. Only the previous day, had Carmen’s mother told her that Carmen was to be married with a man she’d never met. Of course Carmen’s family didn’t know about her and Shane. If they did, they would probably dis-own their daughter, and curse Shane for eternity.
Shane pulled a cigarette from her pocket, and lit it. Her eye’s lingered around her room, as she sat on her bed, waiting for sleep to consume her drained body. But she knew only to well it was no good. Whenever she threw herself into a worry state, her sleeping patterns suffered.
She walked over to the window, while taking a long inhale from the cancer stick. And stared out of the window, watching the streets. Wondering over and over, what was she going to do? Would her and Carmen stay together? Or be torn apart by her none-understanding family. She knew Carmen hadn’t said anything to her family, had only sat stunned and said she’d think about the engagement. Part of Shane thought she would of come out with the truth, and admitted her sexuallity, and her relationship. But she didn’t. However, Shane felt maybe Carmen needed time to think.
She finished the remains of her ciggarette and got back into bed. Her mind filled with questions without answers. And worry consumed her entierly. But finally, slumber set in, and she fell into a light sleep.
The next morning Shane felt no better. She was still exhausted from the previous night, and she had recieved no phone calls or texts from Carmen. It angered her slightly…How could Carmen do this too her? Leave her not knowing anything. She was still mad as she entered the kitchen to see Mark sat down at the table, holding a cup of (Probably) coffee in his hands.
“Hey Shane.” Mark smiled, taking a sip from his cup. “You look pissed off…” Shane’s fiery eyes turned to Mark in reply. “Oh…So you are pissed then.” Mark laughed slightly. Usually Shane would shrug the laugh off, but not this morning. She couldn’t stand the thought of someone else mocking her. And if she didn’t lash out she would break down into tears. And she refused to cry.
“WIll you just ***** off Mark?!” Shane half shouted, suddenly rounding on the bemused man. “I’ve had a ***** day. And you’re not making things any better.”
Mark sat there stunned for a few seconds, then mutted. “Oh…Sorry…Do you want-”
“No. Just leave me alone.” Shane didn’t even await his answer. She just left the kitchen, meeting Jenny inside the living room.
“Shane! Did you forget?” Jenny mutted sternly, the second Shane entered.
“Forget…Forget what?” She replied almost instantly.
“Well, you promised you’d come with me to my interview with the College i’m trying to en-roll in. Or did you forget?”
Shane shook her head in reply. She had forgot, but having another person mad with her wasn’t in her intentions. So she grabbed her coat and headed to the door.
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nice but this strory is really getting to fast there is absolutley no structure. try again.
Intense. Shane really messed up BIGTIME, but she’s letting her guilt sabotage her and Carmen’s happiness (not that cheating on Carmen did much to help the situation). She can’t just push Carmen into a man; I mean, Carmen’s gay, there’s no way she could ever be happy with him. Anywho, I like the story so far. I can follow that you’re using separate paragraphs to distinguish between the narration and Shane’s thoughts, but you might want to separate the narration into different paragraphs as well and maybe italicize Shane’s thoughts (to distinguish from the rest of the story). Just a suggestion, no biggie. I’ll be waiting for the next chapter! :)
Like the part with Carmen stiring alot of drama, but Shane cheating on Carmen can elevate that part out. It is unbelievably parent force hand in marriage it is 2005.