Fan Fiction
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Why Are You Here?
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Tina: That makes sense.
There was another long period of silence.
Tina: Bette, do you still love me?
Bette: Do I still love you?
Tina: Yes, do you still love me?
Bette: Yes, I do love you. I love the woman who is Angie’s mom. I love the woman who is creative, adventurous, loyal, kind and forgiving. I love the woman who was nurturing and supportive and who is smart and has a talent for making her world beautiful and warm and accepting. I love the woman who wanted to share her life with me – the good, the bad and the ugly. That is who you were for me… but then you left, you divorced me and you walk away without a word. And I look back on those twenty years we shared, and I wonder what was it that I failed to see. Was the woman I loved, real? Or were you just a figment of my imagination or some mirage which wasn’t real at all. Do I love you still? Honestly, I don’t know, because at this point, I do not know who you are.
Tina: So, you don’t love me?
Bette: I love the idea of you. But you, Christina Mallory Kennard, are unknown to me at this point. You do realize that you and I have not seen each other more than a half dozen times in three years? This is our very first conversation which has not been all about Angie or you asking me to sign divorce papers since we separated some three years ago? After twenty years, I thought I knew who you were and I love that woman. But yesterday, you have told me that for years prior to you leaving, you hid your true feelings and desires from me. And when you couldn’t bear it any more, you left. That was the choice you made. I can only conclude that you did not love me enough or trust me enough to share this burden with me. And that is the part that scares me, Tina. For if I didn’t know this about you, what else did I not know. What else did you not share with me? You see, I took our relationship seriously. For me you were my soul mate and forever partner. And I loved you like I could love no other. But now, it seems that I fell in love and promised to honor and care for someone who was what? Deceiving me or didn’t trust me enough to talk to me? And that according to you, that went on for years. What was those twenty years all about if not for trusting each other with our inner most fears and joys, hopes and dreams, our nightmares, and struggles? For I was of the belief that if we did share those things with each other, then we could manage them and get through them to a better us. I’m not sure I can truthfully say that I love you in the same way I did, because you are not the person I thought you were. Yes, I do love you, just not with the same intensity and desire. I think that I will always love you.
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It is a challenging task to take on the Generation Q nonsensical plot line, especially Bette and Tina ever having gotten divorced. You have written an interesting “moment in time” offering the readers one possibility of what happened. I would imagine from your description that the cabin is a small claustrophobic place and Bette and Tina are both nervous and somewhat kinetic in the way they interact with one another and move about. Neither able to relax. Trying to respect each other and each other’s space. Watching the clock. Watching the snow. With nowhere to go. Also, it is next to impossible to make sense of the Tina that Marja gave us. No one recognizes her. I think you have given it a very good shot. I also appreciate the way you wrote Bette struggling with her emotions and all of the hurt. Tina is a mystery. Why would she ask Bette if she loves her? Bette’s reply is spot on. She loves Tina but no longer knows her. She loves her because she is Angie’s biological mother. She was able to remain respectful to Tina but also get to the heart of the matter: Why did you leave me? Why did you leave Angie? That’s tough stuff. It would have been much easier to write a story that pretended away the fiasco that was Gen Q. You took it on. Well done, Martha.
Billy,
Thank you for reading and commenting. Gen Q, for me, simply decided Bette and Tina were divorced and never fleshed out why that happened. IMO, the writers never believed that they would need this backstory when they put it into the script. But for a couple as iconic as Bette and Tina, they should have known that sooner or later, they might have to reveal that backstory. But in true Gen Q fashion, it never was addressed.
So when Laurel returned for Season 1, the writers have Tina give an explanation to Angie that she needed to find herself. And then another explanation to Bette which said that Bette simply overshadowed her very existence. Neither explanation rang true for me. And I accepted Bette’s declaration to Shane under the influence of marijuana, that she did not know why Tina left and that Tina had never offered an explanation. So, when they brought in Carrie, I was even more confused as to why Tina left and who Tina Kennard was. And despite some of the fan’s responses of adoration for Carrie, that relationship simply did not reflect the Tina Kennard I so adore and love. And then in Season 3, where we get our reunion and wedding which I desperately wanted, but the path seemed more like a fairey tale than anything which could be close to reality or reasonable. The conflicts were between Bette and Tina seemed artificial and were put aside with a few soft words. Determining what the conflicts were required the most vivid of imaginations and the ability to take the darkest moments of their past and project it to their present. Bette and Tina have a long and rocky history. But the Bette and Tina I know would never dig into that bag of history and use their bad behavior as a club to justify current behavior. I feel this is particularly true for those issues which they had analyzed, apologized and forgiven the other for. Whatever the reason for Bette and Tina’s divorce, it had to be something new or something we are completely unaware of. And I do not completely explain why the separation and divorce happen, I at least ask the question. And I still believe that question can only be answered by Tina.
I am glad you mentioned the cabin. It’s a place designed for no more than 4 people as a temporary getaway. I imagine the dining table has 4 chairs in a standard square shape. The kitchen is a galley style kitchen in which it starts to get crowded with a second person. I imagine that the main purpose is to provide housing for skiers visiting the area during the winter and hikers during the summer.
Addressing this aspect of the Gen Q story is not easy. I think that getting into Tina’s mind and understanding her motivations, her thought processes, and the environment surrounding her when she made her choices is a difficult place to go. For me, the things which might explain this seem so unfathomable that I cannot make my mind go there. Things such as cheating, falling out of love, mental illness or shear boredom with the relationship simply cannot be possible in my world for these two. And they are far too intelligent to allow a misunderstanding to keep them apart. Bette and Tina have been through too much and have weathered too many storms to believe they would ever purposely pursue a path that would destroy their relationship. I also believe that it is simply not possible for the two of them to make any decision in which they did not consider the impact of such on the other. They simply love each other too much for that. So, the bottom line is that we the writers are left to try to explain the unexplainable….
My thanks for your continued support….
Well thought out and literate reply. I totally agree.