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Why Are You Here?
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Tina wandered into the kitchen just as Bette was finishing up the meal.
Bette: Get yourself some coffee and sit down. Breakfast is ready.
Tina: Thanks. Sorry, I didn’t sleep very well last night.
Bette: Everything alright? You’re not sick, are you?
Tina: Not physically…. Maybe mentally and emotionally. I am starting to experience a strong sense of regret for what I did to you and Angie.
Bette: Tina, I don’t think I can help you with that. You need someone who is a little more independent from that which you are regretting.
Tina: I’m sorry Bette. I never intended to hurt you or Angie.
Bette looked at her expressionless for a minute and then continued her meal. Bette really did not want to respond to Tina. Deep down, it was painful to hear that Tina did not consider the ramifications of her actions. She did not consider how it would affect her relationships with her family, with her child and her spouse. And that hurt a lot.
Bette: Tina, I cannot make this journey of self-realization with you. A lot of time has passed since you walked out that door. I have had time to stew and suffer as a result of your choices. The wounds have started to heal, but have not scarred over. Now that I know some of what you were thinking and why you made the choices you made, then I too need time to re-evaluate my life and path forward. The truth is, we both have to deal with what is. This divorce is now a part of who we are and a part of our history. It marks the end of our twenty years together, whether that was your intent or not. You have your career; you have another romantic interest and you have a daughter. I have a daughter and a possible new career. You and I are co-parents and we live 2000 miles apart and we barely communicate.
Tina: I love you, Bette. I’ve always loved you. I believe I always will.
Bette: I love you, Tina. But you left me. I don’t know how to get around that fact. I cannot pretend it didn’t happen. Perhaps if you had at least talked to me about what was going on with you, things could be different. These conversations between you and I are the result of us being confined to this cabin for a few days are the first we have had in years. It was not your plan to be here and have these conversations with me. It was not a thought on your mind. You mean a lot to me Tina. You are my heart and my soul mate. At least you were. Whatever our relationship was, or is now or will be in the future is totally up to you. It always has been. Since I am the primary parent of Angie, I will continue to relate to you as we have since our divorce. What our relationship will be for the future? Well, we both need to think about that and determine what is in our own best interest. Right now, I do not mind telling you that I am totally conflicted. There would be nothing more joyous than to have our relationship back with you as my wife and lover. But…. I do know that I do not trust you, Tina. I do not trust that you love me enough to make that happen. I do not trust that I wouldn’t be worried that this may be the day that you pack your bags and be out the front door every day we are together. I do not trust that you know your own mind or path or what it is you desire for your future. I have been through hell for the past three years and I cannot go through that again. I could not survive you leaving me again. So, if this idea of yours that you and I will reunite at some point in the future is real and something you want, then you are going to have to convince me of that and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen. You are going to have to earn my trust again Tina if we are going to be friends or have any future relationship whatsoever. Of course, if this vision of reunification is just a fantasy and not a real desire, well then, we are better off to continue just as we are: divorced with some distance between us.
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It is a challenging task to take on the Generation Q nonsensical plot line, especially Bette and Tina ever having gotten divorced. You have written an interesting “moment in time” offering the readers one possibility of what happened. I would imagine from your description that the cabin is a small claustrophobic place and Bette and Tina are both nervous and somewhat kinetic in the way they interact with one another and move about. Neither able to relax. Trying to respect each other and each other’s space. Watching the clock. Watching the snow. With nowhere to go. Also, it is next to impossible to make sense of the Tina that Marja gave us. No one recognizes her. I think you have given it a very good shot. I also appreciate the way you wrote Bette struggling with her emotions and all of the hurt. Tina is a mystery. Why would she ask Bette if she loves her? Bette’s reply is spot on. She loves Tina but no longer knows her. She loves her because she is Angie’s biological mother. She was able to remain respectful to Tina but also get to the heart of the matter: Why did you leave me? Why did you leave Angie? That’s tough stuff. It would have been much easier to write a story that pretended away the fiasco that was Gen Q. You took it on. Well done, Martha.
Billy,
Thank you for reading and commenting. Gen Q, for me, simply decided Bette and Tina were divorced and never fleshed out why that happened. IMO, the writers never believed that they would need this backstory when they put it into the script. But for a couple as iconic as Bette and Tina, they should have known that sooner or later, they might have to reveal that backstory. But in true Gen Q fashion, it never was addressed.
So when Laurel returned for Season 1, the writers have Tina give an explanation to Angie that she needed to find herself. And then another explanation to Bette which said that Bette simply overshadowed her very existence. Neither explanation rang true for me. And I accepted Bette’s declaration to Shane under the influence of marijuana, that she did not know why Tina left and that Tina had never offered an explanation. So, when they brought in Carrie, I was even more confused as to why Tina left and who Tina Kennard was. And despite some of the fan’s responses of adoration for Carrie, that relationship simply did not reflect the Tina Kennard I so adore and love. And then in Season 3, where we get our reunion and wedding which I desperately wanted, but the path seemed more like a fairey tale than anything which could be close to reality or reasonable. The conflicts were between Bette and Tina seemed artificial and were put aside with a few soft words. Determining what the conflicts were required the most vivid of imaginations and the ability to take the darkest moments of their past and project it to their present. Bette and Tina have a long and rocky history. But the Bette and Tina I know would never dig into that bag of history and use their bad behavior as a club to justify current behavior. I feel this is particularly true for those issues which they had analyzed, apologized and forgiven the other for. Whatever the reason for Bette and Tina’s divorce, it had to be something new or something we are completely unaware of. And I do not completely explain why the separation and divorce happen, I at least ask the question. And I still believe that question can only be answered by Tina.
I am glad you mentioned the cabin. It’s a place designed for no more than 4 people as a temporary getaway. I imagine the dining table has 4 chairs in a standard square shape. The kitchen is a galley style kitchen in which it starts to get crowded with a second person. I imagine that the main purpose is to provide housing for skiers visiting the area during the winter and hikers during the summer.
Addressing this aspect of the Gen Q story is not easy. I think that getting into Tina’s mind and understanding her motivations, her thought processes, and the environment surrounding her when she made her choices is a difficult place to go. For me, the things which might explain this seem so unfathomable that I cannot make my mind go there. Things such as cheating, falling out of love, mental illness or shear boredom with the relationship simply cannot be possible in my world for these two. And they are far too intelligent to allow a misunderstanding to keep them apart. Bette and Tina have been through too much and have weathered too many storms to believe they would ever purposely pursue a path that would destroy their relationship. I also believe that it is simply not possible for the two of them to make any decision in which they did not consider the impact of such on the other. They simply love each other too much for that. So, the bottom line is that we the writers are left to try to explain the unexplainable….
My thanks for your continued support….
Well thought out and literate reply. I totally agree.