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    Hindsight – Chapter 4

    Story written on November 25, 2006 by Jobadge.
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    1 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 39
    Words: 4174
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63335
    Author Notes:

    Tina Kennard: How could I even begin to make up for the devastation I had caused in her life.

    Hindsight – Chapter 4

     

    Main Entry: hindsight
    Pronunciation: ‘hIn(d)-"sIt
    Function: noun

    Meaning:  understanding the nature of an event after it has happened

    "Hindsight is always better than foresight"

     

     

    The sound of the door closing made me realise we were now alone, me and her, and our daughter, who was tightly wrapped in her arms, I watched the tears rolling down her cheeks, she looked so lost, so hurt, so desolate, the only words that came to me as we stood looking at one another were how deeply sorry I was for causing her to be in this total state of desperate longing for her daughter.

     

    “I’m sorry…,” the words were all I could muster as the pounding in my heart began with a force.

     

    Last night, when she had stood before me, she was angry, and rightly so, I had tried to justify how she had no idea of how it felt to have our daughter taken away from her, I tried to tell her how it felt for me when she took her for those three and a half hours, but her reply tore through me, how she told me how I had taken her for those seven weeks and four days, and every single day was getting harder for her to cope, how it was killing her not being able to see the one thing that meant so much to her…, her daughter… our daughter…

     

    And last night, after I caught her in my arms as she fainted, I could see it was killing her, the soft suicide of a woman slowly wasting away… the slow demise of the woman who I had shared my life with, and I was playing a part in her demise.

     

    As Alice and I laid her on the bed we could both see how this had affected her, it was something that in the last seven weeks and four days I pushed from my mind, well… tried to push from my mind, but it was hard, looking at our daughter each and everyday, the mini-Porter that was so much like her other mother.

     

    At night I had shown Angelica her photo, I talked about her, and during the night time that followed my mind would be invaded by her, thoughts of her, pictures of her, my mind wondering how she was coping being alone, coping without us…

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    Comments

    1. This is just gripping. Thankyou, it’s got me at the edge of my seat, I feel like I’m totally in that kitchen watching this breakdown and hopefully reuniting!!!..Pls jobage post soon….

    3. Jo, amazing…..i love it how you can read a fic, and feel everything that the characters are feeling….i dont usually feel that way, but this fic, it is amazing…you have an amazing talent, and a wonderful storyline…just 2 things…….POST LONGER AND FASTER!!!!!!!!….1,000 STARS FROM ME…..POST AGAIN SOON PLEASE…..I CAN’T TAKE THE WAITING…….LOL……

    6. Tina is a piece of work but I am glad that she is realizing the depth her actions but I still would like to throw her ass off the cliff into the waterall where Dana’s spirit lives on! I don’t have children but the pain must be unbearable to have your child taken from you with no communication at all. It’s mind boggling how many parents do that to one another and the children. I understand Tina was hurt from Bette’s so called kidnapping & custody, but what she did takes the fucking cake hands down. I am really trying to be good here and not call tina every name in the fucking book as I will allow her to say her piece, but it’s really hard. Post soon!

    7. Wow Bette is one hell of a woman, comforting and supporting T in this very difficult situation, I love that – like I really really love your dialogues, so spot on….like always!!! Great Tina confessed about listening to all the messages, they’ve to be completely honest with each other. I give you 3 hours, then I expect chapter 5!!! xx

    8. I felt like I was setting there looking at what was going on. I felt like I was intruding on something between to people that needed to be very private. that was very heart breaking. Even the baby was so happy,yet afraid that her other Mom was not going to be with her. Sad. thanks for the insight of broken hearts. thanks

    9. I forgot: Bette deserves a gold star because I don’t think I would be comforting that wench after what she did. And I am glad that Bette has not fainted although I suspect it might be coming up soon! lol

    13. Another Excellent chapter Job. I adore Tina,but what she’s done is really unforgivable. To deliberately keep someone away from thier child is just ruthless. Bette kidnapping Angie was bad,but not as bad as what Tina’s done. I for one,never had any sympathy for IC’s Chaiken’s Bette,but I feel terribly awful and heartbroken for what’s happend to Bette is this fic,perhaps I might feel for IC’s Bette now. The fact that she’s willing to comfort Tina while she finally has an apiphany regarding the pain’s she’s caused,shows that Bette is trying to forgive her. Bette really needs to be strong for her baby,and for the first time ever, I could care less what happens to Tina. I’m happy that she’s finally realized the pain she’s caused Bette,but she now she needs to help Bette heal mentally and physically. PPS.

    14. Wow, Jo! So much pain and anger and love and dismay and honesty and…just the full range of emotions! You never cease to amaze me with how you flesh out their thoughts and motivations, and their love is always so apparent. Please continue quickly!

    15. Even through all the pain that they have endured there is still something magical between them. Now, they have to decide how to handle that magic and how to move forward. They have reached that valley the bottom of the deep blue sea, but now it is time to climb back up or swim to the top. With Angelica’s help there is hope and a way to survive. Now it is up to them to take that step forward.

    16. Tina did a bad thing but it is Bette that’s responsible for how she is now. Tina has been selfish but I think in some way it was protection mode because Bette had every intention of taking Angelica away from her. They have used Angelica against eachother so they’re just the same IMO.

    18. That was exceptionally mature of Bette to offer comfort to Tina, who may have just made some baby steps of her own towards maturity. Angelica is perhaps a bit farther down that path than Tina, but I suppose she can’t be all bad to have raised the child to that level. Now if everybody can learn to stand in the line of fire when things get tough and gut out the hard stuff, we may have something. Seems to me that’s what being a grown up is: to deal with the hard stuff, not run, not play games. May I also observe that emotions are the reason both for staying and for running. If one is really grown up and really loves, they stay and they deal.

    19. WOW!!! In the end Bette has to hold Tina and let her cry. Why does that seem so wrong. But then agein that is Bette one hell of a woman!!! Thanks Jo PPS

    22. Wow…this is some emotional stuff here. That was very big of Bette to offer Tina comfort…that’s love. Can they be saved? I hope so…they have a tough mountain to climb though. Tina is still with Henry. Please post soon.

    23. Damn this is amazing, everytime I read this story I cry, its sad to see Bette and Tina like this. Tina need to leave henrydick, and come back to Bette and they talk and work thing out, she need to take care of Bette and Angel, and they will be a family again and forever. OK post soon please, thanks!

    25. Your friends jokingly call you a “yokel” or a “rube”, a “country bumpkin”. I don’t know any yokels that write as you can. God, this chapter was brilliant as is this story. You have so many weapons in your writing arsenal. Sometimes you write devilish one pagers that are clever and spicy. Then you roll off this type of story that is painful, authentic but beautiful in its own right. Brava, Jo! For this Yank can you please define the word “clam”.

    28. this was very emotional to read, wonderfully written and you displayed both of their emotion levels so realistically…my heart goes to bette and tina, i hope angie will help to reunite them again

    30. You must be tired of hearing this, but God what a story!!! An emotional rollercoaster is an understatement, and I love it so incredibly much… The stream of emotion that is lurking behind the corner, the inevitable L-word, is almost palpable… Please dont make me wait long for the update! Hug JLBT

    35. Jesus Joe you have brought me to tears every chappy. If it wasn’t for the fact, I BELIEVE you will bring them back together, i don’t know if I could handle more. Well it is beautifully written as well.WOW you are goooood!

    36. Let the healing the begin and the realization that they need each other to survive. Tina needs to leave Henry and love Bette back the health. Bette and Angelica connection is beautiful!!!! PPS

    37. my turn to be first on your chapter J – another stunning piece of realism. totally in awe of you and your writing talents, you are the only writer that i get really excited about reading — even if you are a clam and a yokel . xxxx great result for your woman as well !!!

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