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    Hindsight – Chapter 10

    Story written on December 12, 2006 by Jobadge.
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    Number of Comments: 29
    Words: 4135
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63561
    Author Notes:

    Tina Kennard: Her smile could stop traffic and cause weakness in every limb in my body…

    Hindsight – Chapter 10

     

    Main Entry: hindsight
    Pronunciation: ‘hIn(d)-"sIt
    Function: noun

     

    Meaning:  understanding the nature of an event after it has happened

     

    "Hindsight is always better than foresight"

     

     

    I felt her fingertip against my lips, she whispered words that she didn’t want me to answer, I thought she had been talking to Angelica, I was watching them both, watching her finger tracing patterns over Angelica’s skin, her long graceful fingers had made my mind wander… watching them moving so slowly, her words startled me, she was talking to me, not Angelica, she missed me…

     

     

    She missed me, but she didn’t want me to reply, did that mean she said the words in haste, didn’t she really mean the words she had said, or did she not want me to reply because she was afraid of what my answer would be, she didn’t want me to remain silent, as I had in the past when she uttered those words to me, or she didn’t want… she didn’t want me to reject her…

     

     

    I had done this to her, it kept going around in my head, that I had made her almost afraid to utter those simple words, but in another breath, they weren’t simple, those words were huge for her to say, and I knew that she would never have uttered any word without meaning them, she did miss me… I could see it in her eyes, I had heard the words, but I could see it too, what she was unaware of was how the flutter had emanated itself in my chest and settled in my stomach after she said the words.

     

     

    She looked suddenly uncomfortable, she moved her finger, and I saw the vulnerability around her, and I knew she felt it too, she had exposed herself to me in that split second, it was different to breaking down in her arms, these were her words, this was saying the thing that was going through her mind as we sat with our daughter, I think it was safe to say I felt ashamed at that moment, I didn’t ever want her to feel like that around me, but I could understand how she had been free with her words one minute and then suddenly shut down within seconds.

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    Comments

    3. This makes me so sad in a happy sort of way. They need to just keep going. Saying what they feel, whispering the words of love that only they understand. YOu know a kiss wouldn’t hurt.

    11. I think that they are going to be okay also. It is going to take a lot of work on both parts but mostly from Tina. Bette will always love her, but now Tina needs to show Bette that it is safe for her to love again. For once it is Bette’s turn to have someone caress her and tell her it is going to be okay and then to know that she, Tina will be around more than just one day. Hopefully, love will conquer all.

    12. i’m with coop, a gentle sweet kiss would not hurt right about now and then T should dial up some food…do not leave bette alone just yet…she needs T’s presence…love it…PPS

    13. Jo…You should be in deep shit w/your GF. A talent such as yours. You should be writing sonnets the likes of Elizabeth Barrett Browning. *grin* With this excruiating and abiding love they have for each other, how did they get mired in this morass. Remember how Peggy P. talked about those artists who could fuck like bunnies but also wrote achingly beautiful love letters to one another? What did Peggy say? Something to the effect that fucking w/o art is boring? I don’t remember exactly. That’s why you need to write love letters to your love.

    15. You write so well that its as if im there experiencing it for myself. Great update. I have been looking forward to every update since u first started it. Love it. Cant wait for the next. PPS

    16. Guys, you’ve said it all. I really don’t know what else I could add. Besides, you left me pretty much speechless, Jo ( which is a big challenge that you’ve taken up since I’m usually such a chatterbox ! ). This chapter was simply beautiful, comme toujours. You never never disappoint us, Jo… And I’m almost certain you never will, unless you choose to write those dreadful words…The End. Thanks a lot for this wonderful chapter.

    19. Lovely! Was waiting for this episode! :) Post soon please!!!And for the record… I am totally with azmama Peggy Peabody: “Well, you know, all that fucking, with no art, is really rather dreary. ” hehehe

    21. LOL@the love letter “issue”!… Great chapter! Gotta love this unconscious mutual declaration of love… Progress, progress… Hehehe… You, and you only, could go from the worst possible situation between these two and make it all better!… I’ve got to say though, that I also categorically refuse to relate this fic to “I thought…” and “Remember when…”. That’s just plain impossible for me! So, in my own twisted mind, I just make it that they happened to spend a nice WE in a hotel where they ate oysters and made love on a rose petals bed, but that’s as far as it goes for me… ;) I’m sorry, but to even consider that they could have fucked up so badly after everything that was realised, said, and shared in these two other fics is just too much to ask from me! ;) But that’s okay, it totally works for me that way! LOL! Thanks, Jo, you’re the best!

    23. Oh, there’s hope… how wonderful! I hope they are brave enough to let their guards down and allow themselves to feel all the beautiful things they bring out in one another. And about the love letter thing… I thought this WAS a love letter? It sounds like one to me. Great chapter, Jo. Thanks.

    25. Another beautiful chapter! The way you put their emotions in to words is just so amazing! Thank you Jo… and you should be writing love letters or else you wouldnt be doing justice to your talent. LOL :))

    27. Off course, I (and I don’t think I stand alone ;) want them to be better then ok… But gosh what a way to start… Henry is instantly forgotten now that Tina is allowing herself to feel this emotional rollercoaster… Noone else could do it the way you do, Jo… Lovely as always!

    29. All still very intense, sad and emotional…but always with that little hint of hope…cause i think we all know that your going to make this alright..not easily but in the end!!they will be ok….So this chapter, as with all others was great, and a pleasure to read!..really good stuff.

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