Previously

Before I got the chance to respond… she pulled me in and the next thing, I practically ran to Bette’s room with Alice tailing behind. I pushed opened the door lightly, walking in slowly, trying to imagine the worst scene… praying not to see the lifeless Bette that I first saw pushed into the ER… my heart pounded hardly… I shook my head… there I saw her… sitting on her bed… sobbing… looking pale…

“Bette… baby…”

My heart dropped when she looked up… her eyes filled with tears… but I still could see how defeated and helpless she was… a million questions floating through my brain… I raised my arms, walking towards her… gathered her in my arms… ‘Oh Bette…’ I couldn’t bear to see her like this… I tried to comfort her…

Her body vibrated with each sob… my heart clenched tighter each time her pain vibrated into my body… finally she managed to be calmed… and started to tell us about her dreams…

“I gave up to death…” I quivered involuntary… the image of lifeless Bette being pushed into the ER felt fresh… I could imagine every bits of her dream very clearly… I even felt the pain… lost… fear… and I started to cry too…

“Tee… baby… can you stay?” she asked tiredly…

I pushed her unruly locks away from her face and nodded lovingly at her… how I fell in love more with this woman…

Chapter 17 

Tina

I fell in love with her more… I’m surer about my feelings towards her… it’s nothing that I’ve experienced before… but suddenly the thought of… ‘Mom…’

“*sigh* How hurt and disappointed his parents must have been…” her words still ringing clearly in my head… her look so far away, her face so full of worries and disappointments at that moment. We had this conversation about this good guy friend of mine in high school, then she questioned about my relationship with him, so I had to tell her the truth that he’s gay so that she wouldn’t have to worry about me neglecting my studies to fall in love with that guy… I still remember clearly how her facial expression was when she was in deep thoughts after I told her that sweet guy is gay… that worry and disappointed look… I bet she was thinking what if one of her children is gay too… I never wanted to see her having that look on the account of anyone of us… her children… I’ve owed her too much and love her so much to put that look on her… On the other hand, Bette, my heart will break too if I unfairly keep her as a secret for too long, and I bet that look will be put on Bette’s face if I stuff her together with me back in the closet from my family…