A fear struck me when Tina moved… “Don’t leave…” I cling onto her tighter.

“I’m not going anywhere, babe…” assure Tina in her smooth and soft tone.

We stay… clinging to each other as if our lives depend on it…

After much process in my tired and troubled mind, I voice out my troubled mind to her… it is eating me up alive to talk about my emotions… to talk about my weaknesses… but there’s something pushing me and assure me that Tina is the one I can talk to.

“I’m afraid of losing you…” I admit quietly. “And I don’t wanna hurt you…”

“B… I’m not due to going anywhere… look at me babe….” She softly lifts up my chin to meet her hazel pools staring lovingly back at me “You are my destination… my destiny… I’ll be wherever you’re…”

I look into her eyes and see the truth and sincerity, I am touched… goose bumps form all over me… shiver being generated from my core and send up my spine…

She continues… “And you have a part of me with you always…” She brought my hand up to lay my palm on where her heart is…

I’m speechless… tears form in my eyes… for the record, I’ve cried for the umpteenth in these 4 turmoil days.

Tina

I couldn’t have been aroused when I put her palm over my chest… this is not the right time to feel like this… but I feel the need to have her… to want her… to show her that I love her truly… my heart accelerate and breaking at the same time… my temperature rising… I need to comfort her… the shiver shot through my veins… but there are lots of things to be resolved now… I must talk to her…

“Bette… about Sunday… err…” I feel her stiffen.

“T… I shouldn’t have carried away with it… I’m so sorry if I’d scared you… I know you weren’t ready… so was I…. and…”

She stopped and seemed like trying to prompt for the next word…

“I… I stopped that day when I… you know…” she seems like eating herself up alive when talking… “If I had let things continued the way it did that day, I know I would have totally let you into me… into my heart… let you see me at my most vulnerable moment… let you see the rawest me… and since you’d never been with a woman… I’m afraid that it would have scared you too…”