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    Calamity Bette

    Story written on February 22, 2008 by Jobadge.
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    16 votes, average: 2.00 out of 516 votes, average: 2.00 out of 516 votes, average: 2.00 out of 516 votes, average: 2.00 out of 516 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5 (16 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 19
    Words: 5801
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=68744
    Author Notes:

    Chapter 1 – Calamity Bette and Wild Tina Hickok…

     

    Calamity jumps from the stage onto the steps of the Golden Garter as she continues in her unstoppable race to address the town, “Introducing Kitty Miller, just as busy as a fizzy sasperilla, ain’t a showman any smarter operates the Golden Garter… And I’m glad to say she’s more than a friend of mine.”

     

    She storms through the saloon doors awash with the cowboys swarming at her side, “hi Joe, say, where d’ya get them fancy clothes…, I know, off some fella’s laundry line.  Hi Beau, aren’t you a prairie rose…, Smellin’ like a watermelon vine…”

     

    She walked around saloon bar, surveying the customers, the tables and all those around her, “Here’s a man the sheriff watches…, on his gun there’s more than twenty-seven notches…, on the draw there’s no one faster and you’re flirting with disaster…, when Tina Hickok’s reputation you malign…,” she said as she slapped Tina on the back while she played cards. 

     

    Tina stood to her great height, the smart black trousers over the freshly polished boots, the neat blue chequered shirt with the black scarf tied at the neck.  Her black Stetson was clean and sharp atop her head, giving her the air of stature within the community that she deserved.

     

    She stood with the quiet confidence of someone whose reputation proceeded her…, no words were required as Tina and Calamity eyed one another before Calamity stuck her hand out, meeting Tina’s in a firm shake and continued, “…and I’m glad to say she’s a very good friend of a friend of mine…” 

     

    Calamity sat on Tina’s vacated chair, “Oh, my throat’s as dry as a desert thistle in May…, In the Golden Garter, gonna wet my whistle today…, Last to the bar’s a three-legged crow…, Set ‘em up Joe…”

     

    Kitty shouted above the drum of noise, “drinks on the house, drinks on the house…!”

     

    “Set ‘em up Joe…” Calamity shouts to the barman.

     

    The crowd rush to the bar, desperate to get the rare drink ‘on the house’, the gunshot crack suddenly exploded into the air. The silence was immediate as the crowd parted, scuttling back in order to allow a free route to the bar for Calamity Bette.

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    Comments

    5. Excellent…real “Fun” story and you`ve done an excellent version of it…bet you were humming away writing it tho..lol..course you were!…looking forward to more soon!

    6. LOL about lamentamini comment too funny!! the story by calamity his so funny… i feel like i’m watching this happen in saloon,,, ride’m cowboy, never saw the movie though,lol… :)PPS

    7. Hey mate! Did ya finally get to bed the other night? LOL!!! This was BRILLIANT! I didn’t know we would see this one so soon, but what a hoot! Now I have a song or two in my head. LOL! Thanks so much for a refreshing fic.

    9. I can see Bette come strapping in with her whip and other cowboy stuff, and Tina dressed all in black. When do these two hook up? Soon I hope. That was a funny movie with Calamity Jane as the butt of somene’s joke but she sure showed ’em.

    11. not familiar with the movie/ musical but my opinion has always been: is that any storyline is that much better for having B&T in it….so please do tease away….hmm, actually teasing is in keeping w/ the night i’ve had, just saw Cirque’s Zumanity – freaking amazing!!! Thx for helping to keep me entertained on my downtime in Sin City this weekend (i only gamble for fun w/ friends, i work too damn hard for my $!)

    12. You practically had me on the floor, I was laughing so hard. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen this movie. B&T in the lead roles just makes it all that more special. PPS!!

    13. Hey Jo, Like Shaz, I adore the movie. Am singing “Whip crack-away, whip crack-away,. out loud now. Can’t wait to read more. Many thanks for this fun adventure. Your Loyal Fan.

    17. Hello Jobadge, this was really really neat… I love that you are taking that film and twisting it with our lovely ladies… the language is so much fun also… but you made it feel so very real and definitely kept the fun elements in there… I love the light hearted nature of this story… you are a brilliant writer and I think you can take this someplace special… so I say go for it… let’s see this one ride unto dawn and into the sun… Sincerely, JC

    18. I must’ve wtached this film a hundred times when I was younger. I have a soft spot for it, thus why I was incredibly excited when I saw your post. Good beginning, keep it up. Thanks ADx

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