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    Calamity Bette

    Story written on February 22, 2008 by Jobadge.
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    16 votes, average: 2.00 out of 516 votes, average: 2.00 out of 516 votes, average: 2.00 out of 516 votes, average: 2.00 out of 516 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5 (16 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 19
    Words: 5801
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=68744
    Author Notes:

    Chapter 1 – Calamity Bette and Wild Tina Hickok…

     

    She twirled her gun on her finger as she swaggered forward; slapping her hand hard on the wooden surface.

     

    “Make mine a sasperilla…” Bette said as she turned to view the crowd, she attempted to lean her elbow against the bar as it missed completely, allowing her to fall flat on the floor amongst the laughs and cheers of the surrounding cowboys.

     

    “It ain’t so funny.” She croaked as she stood with an embarrassed face, adjusting her cap over her hair as she turned and leaned against the bar once again.

     

    “Any excitement on this trip, Calam?”

     

    “Excitement! Why…, I got more arrows in the back of that coach than a porcupine’s got stickers!” She said in her best gravel voice to the laugh and cheers of her cowboy admirers, “seemed like the whole Sioux nation…  Hey, where is that sasperilla…?”

     

    “Here you are, Calam…” said the bar tender as he placed a glass on the bar and poured the dark liquid…

     

    ***

     

    Dana Fryer poked her head out of the stagecoach window, frighteningly looking in one direction then the other; she gulped as she came face to face for the first time in her life with an Indian.  His long black hair was tied neatly in a plait, with the leather headband tied tightly across his forehead.

     

    Dana went to the other side of the coach, opening the door to escape the sight of the Indian; a horseman came riding by quickly and closely, forcing her back into the stage once again. Another Indian appeared as she flopped back inside, completely afraid to step outside of the stagecoach.

     

    Kitty Miller walked through the entrance of the saloon with the large cigar in her mouth, she wandered out onto the veranda as she looked for the expected visitors from the stage.

     

    She turned suddenly as she heard the whimpered cries coming from inside the coach.

     

    “No, please. Don’t. Don’t!” Dana said as she cringed in her seat with an Indian on either side, touching her clothes and hair as if seen for the first time,

     

    “Is there a woman in here?” Kitty called into the window.

     

    “No, Maam… Just Indians….” Dana croaked as she held tightly to her bag.

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    Comments

    5. Excellent…real “Fun” story and you`ve done an excellent version of it…bet you were humming away writing it tho..lol..course you were!…looking forward to more soon!

    6. LOL about lamentamini comment too funny!! the story by calamity his so funny… i feel like i’m watching this happen in saloon,,, ride’m cowboy, never saw the movie though,lol… :)PPS

    7. Hey mate! Did ya finally get to bed the other night? LOL!!! This was BRILLIANT! I didn’t know we would see this one so soon, but what a hoot! Now I have a song or two in my head. LOL! Thanks so much for a refreshing fic.

    9. I can see Bette come strapping in with her whip and other cowboy stuff, and Tina dressed all in black. When do these two hook up? Soon I hope. That was a funny movie with Calamity Jane as the butt of somene’s joke but she sure showed ’em.

    11. not familiar with the movie/ musical but my opinion has always been: is that any storyline is that much better for having B&T in it….so please do tease away….hmm, actually teasing is in keeping w/ the night i’ve had, just saw Cirque’s Zumanity – freaking amazing!!! Thx for helping to keep me entertained on my downtime in Sin City this weekend (i only gamble for fun w/ friends, i work too damn hard for my $!)

    12. You practically had me on the floor, I was laughing so hard. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen this movie. B&T in the lead roles just makes it all that more special. PPS!!

    13. Hey Jo, Like Shaz, I adore the movie. Am singing “Whip crack-away, whip crack-away,. out loud now. Can’t wait to read more. Many thanks for this fun adventure. Your Loyal Fan.

    17. Hello Jobadge, this was really really neat… I love that you are taking that film and twisting it with our lovely ladies… the language is so much fun also… but you made it feel so very real and definitely kept the fun elements in there… I love the light hearted nature of this story… you are a brilliant writer and I think you can take this someplace special… so I say go for it… let’s see this one ride unto dawn and into the sun… Sincerely, JC

    18. I must’ve wtached this film a hundred times when I was younger. I have a soft spot for it, thus why I was incredibly excited when I saw your post. Good beginning, keep it up. Thanks ADx

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