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Bette and Tina take time to process – Chapter 16
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After releasing the butterflies to honor Jason’s memory, Bette and Tina stayed at the same spot for the next two hours and talked employing their newfound communication skills. When they’d had the ultrasound in Dr. Wilson’s office confirming the baby’s sex they’d agreed on naming him Jason Kennard-Porter yet this was the first time in almost two years that they’d spoken his name aloud.
Coming up with the first name was much easier than deciding on the surname. They’d tossed around the idea of combining parts of their last names but Bette’s suggestions were met with chuckles from Tina already lamenting that their poor child would be ridiculed if they gave him a last name like Portard.
“Hey Portard how’s your two moms you big gaymo”. Kenter was more acceptable but in the end hyphenating Kennard and Porter seemed to be the best idea. The pregnancy hadn’t been far enough along to require a birth or death certificate to be issued after the miscarriage but to them his existence would be remembered in their hearts. From then on they would call him by name.
Bette and Tina reconciled themselves to the fact that Jason was lost to them by no fault of their own but then the conversation turned to the death of their marriage in the aftermath of the miscarriage. What they found was that the deterioration started long before Tina even got pregnant. They were making haphazard decisions out of desperation to have something to hold them together, the worst of which were the ill-fated ones; Tina quitting her job, Bette giving up her gallery to work at the CAC and most disastrous of all to bring a baby into their union as a last ditch effort to save a dying marriage. The problems of infertility followed by the loss of the baby when they finally did conceive and everything in-between only served to widen the distance.
The more they talked the more it became evident that they could pinpoint several specific behaviors that cumulatively caused the distancing and ultimate demise of what was thought to be a forever love. They’d ignored the warning signs. They’d discounted the emotional pain that each had suffered with every sacrifice, disappointment, dejection and rejection that took place before, during and after the devastating events surrounding Jason’s conception and his eventual death. They didn’t take time to process one thing before quickly jumping into the next. Now that they were taking the time they could see clearly how counter-productive the ill-advised decisions and inconsiderate actions were to salvaging the already doomed relationship.
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So glad they are making progress. Thanks, enjoyed it
Thank you wkm. Glad you are enjoying the progress. Lots more to come.
BETTE would get TINA warmed up time after time only to pump the brakes when TINA wa ready to make love.DAN was a counselor yet BETTE felt they didn’t need one.BOTH BETTE/TINA was to wrapped up in their own problems to see that this way of thinking was THE PROBLEM .Looking for donors it became what ever the other one wanted not what THEY wanted.BETTE found the donor,BETTE picks the guy to go home with them,BETTE finds the second donor all her choices yet TINA just went along.TINA confides in friends when she should talk to BETTE,TINA inseminates herself ,TINA has a reality check when MARCUS turns out to be black.To share all these hidden truths between them and at the end of the day realizes that there is still enough of a spark to ignite the sexual urges for each other gives them hope that this too can be put in the category of what not to do when planning a baby.Let the love they know is there shine thru.Best quote of this ”ze penis,ze pussy ,ze baby” that was one for the history books.pps thanks
dunnthat. Thank you for commenting and providing great insight. The point of rehashing all this history is to understand, forgive, and move on. Most importantly to learn from mistakes, pay attention to the warning signs, and not repeat bad behaviours. They are making good progress emotionally and eventually the physical relationship will resume.
Thanks for this great chapter.
One step at a time, they are reconnecting .
the entire constellation.
mscully – thank you for reading, commenting and rating. I love it when you reward my chapters with ‘the entire constellation’ :-)
Like what mscully said one step at a time, they already have talked much about a lot of their problems and it was very wise to ask Paul for his insight when they were not able to do that by them selves, but they are making progress.
The flashback that Bette came home earlier to spend time with Tina, trying to reconnect, and that Tina went to the gym, was for me absolutely heart breaking, it showed how disconnect they were.
I didn’t like the first few chapters, but Bat, you have defiantly my attention again.
Thanks for sharing your talent with us!
Bibi28 – thank you for sticking with the story. I know it was a rough beginning and I really appreciate that you gave it chance. Bette and Tina are going to progress by leaps and bounds before the end of this retreat.