The only thing she does say is her brother helped her gain perspective. What does that even mean? She seems confident in who she is. Finally! Hell I am to. What did happen out there? I just want to make sure she is ok. I’m being selfish aren’t I ? What have I got to complain about? I have a Dad who loves me and accepts me. Friends who quite frankly are awesome.

Get some perspective of your own Rose. If PFLAG taught you anything it’s never take what you have for granted. There are always people worse of than yourself. Who have overcome situations far more serious than you. People have it tough, get attacked literally, for being who they are.

Pull yourself together! I’m over analysing this right? Just go for it what’s the worse that could happen? you love Vanessa, she clearly loves you. Time to be kind to yourself, no pro’s and con’s list. No self inspection, just go on that date she has been going on about for the last few weeks.

I feel for claire I really do, what I did was unforgivable. How long do I need to feel this guilt for? A few weeks, months a year! What’s done is done I can’t go back and change it.

I even looked up the definition of wallflower online the other day It said.

”a person who, because of shyness, unpopularity, or lack of a partner, remains at the side at a party or dance.”

Rose Miller it’s time for you to create your own dance, to be truly happy. What are you waiting for just go on that date. Why does love have to be this complicated. Someone really needs to write a guidebook how to survive love 101. I’d buy a copy.

I recorded this video diary because I wanted to make sense of it all. And all I feel is guilt. No matter what I do I’ll hurt someone. I already have, she did not deserve that. But I’m not going to deny myself the chance of love. For now that’s all your getting to be continued as they say wish me luck or curse me dependant on your point of view………