“I am with you, we are here looking down into the valley, everything I do is for you and this place and yet you still go on and on about Carmen!”

She does you know. Every time I don’t answer her questions fast enough. Every time I close my eyes when we make love. Every time I wake from a bad dream. She is there that one eye searching me, reading me. Knowing what my thoughts are even before I have them. Sometimes I wonder if she isn’t forcing me to think about Carmen all the time. You thinking about her, thinking about her, thinking about her…..

“…….I am sorry.”

“No you’re not. They didn’t deserve to be slaughtered like that. Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

“Yes Shane. You are right they didn’t deserve to be cut down in the night. It’s wrong.”

“Now you are just mocking me.”

“No really you are correct there where innocents who were killed…..you are right…I am sorry. I don’t mean to be jealous. And I…….”

Here we go again. I have heard it all before. I love you Shane. Don’t leave me Shane. I won’t say anything to bug you Shane. Why won’t you say you love me Shane? Why do you always drift off when we talk or kiss or fuck? Why do you keep thinking about Carmen? You know she tortured me? You know she cut my face and banished me? You know all this right Shane? Shane? Shane? You see there you go not paying attention again.

I have heard all before. But lucky me she does the opposite of what I was thinking.

“…..It’s all past us. I walk this line with you that I am so fully aware of. I knew that getting involved with you would violate my entire being.”

“What are you saying Helena?”

“I am saying that I had given myself to that cause almost exclusively. What I am saying was that I made a commitment to being alone, and I gave that all up for you, knowing full well that you are far younger than I and that you where….are still caught in her tangled web…”