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Another Left Turn – Chapter 8
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Just be well, she prayed as she held Tina gently. Be safe. Be whole.
Sometime later, after Bette had fallen asleep again, Tina turned over and Bette automatically raised her right arm so that Tina could snuggle against her side. Tina had slept in only her underwear and a borrowed pyjama jacket so it was her bare thigh across Bette’s hips. Bette woke again, could feel strands of hair in her face. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to summon the happiness that lay beyond the confusion and sorrow and anger and damage, the hours and hours she’d spent in this very bed aching for a moment like this, craving Tina’s simple presence, or, even when she was physically there, her warmth in an embrace of love like this.
Tina raised her head slightly, brushing her forehead against Bette’s cheek. Again, it was pure reflex for Bette to turn her face and then their lips were almost touching. Tina’s body stiffened. She drew back a little and opened her eyes, to see Bette looking at her with an unreadable expression. A long moment passed before either of them spoke.
‘Are you okay?’ Tina asked quietly.
‘Mhmm. You?’
Tina pressed her lips together and nodded. Their hearts were full, neither quite able to take in that here they were, waking up in the same bed once again. The clash of the surreal and the hyper-familiar was extreme.
‘I heard Angie moving about,’ Bette said, lifting a strand of Tina’s hair with her right hand and watching its shade change in the muted sunlight of the room.
‘We should work out what we’re telling her.’
Bette nodded thoughtfully, then said, ‘About us?’
‘Yeah,’ Tina said, a little puzzled, then added: ‘I don’t intend to ever tell her about Rosanna.’
The mention of Tina’s sister made Bette’s jaw tighten. ‘No,’ she said. ‘Of course.’
She carried on playing with Tina’s hair until Tina sensed she was retreating inside herself, and sat up cross-legged to look at her with a mildly reproving lifted eyebrow.
Bette let her gaze drop down to where Tina’s hands lay in her lap, reached for one and held it gently. ‘I don’t know what to do,’ she said. ‘I’m so . . . fucking flabbergasted that you’re here!’ She laughed the mirthless laugh that Tina recognised as a stress-response. ‘And I’m . . . I’m trying not do anything that makes you leave again.’
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Largo, this chapter, this story is simply beautiful. Whatever crisis of confidence you had or are having about this story needs to be put away never to surface again. I loved this chapter, especially the first part where they wake up together. It was so REAL. So clear and heartbreaking at the same. All the reasons Tina has been such a disaster make sense now with your writing and Bette being so strong… this is a helluva story. Thank you for the time you put into this and for weaving a beautiful tapestry of a relationship that is becoming stronger each moment. Post soon, stay well. Thanks
Oh, thank you BK! You’re a terrific writer and it’s so lovely to know that you have confidence in the story and are enjoying it. :-)
I saw in your author note for RWYA that you’d been a bit up and down as well, but you’re right: loving, fluffy B&T is comforting for writer and reader alike (if you’re a Tibetter, of course, haha)
Thank you again for the comment and encouragement. Stay well and keep writing! x
It was a very good chapter, thank you!
So don’t wary about the writing crisis – if talking about myself – i didn’t see it in this chapter.
Hmm, don’t really understood why Angie was mad – because Tina showed without telling her?
I like that Bette did tell Tina about her research Tina’s sister – i’m wonder would Tina ever want to see and confront her for the past? Or it’s already too much time had passed?
So, waiting for the next chapter!
Hi Zhenya! Thank you for reading this chapter and I’m glad you liked it. :-)
With Angie, you’re right – it’s not super clear why she’s annoyed. I think I lost sight of that a bit. I think it was that Bette had led her to think things were going more slowly and then all of a sudden Tina rocks up and they sleep together and Angie was like ‘When is anyone going to just tell me wtf is happening with my parents???’ Possibly on top of feeling that Bette in particular seems to feel entitled to micro-manage Angie’s relationship with Jordi. So just frustration on Angie’s part, rather than being against B&T reuniting as such.
I can’t see Tina confronting her sister, but she probably be able to go through some kind of grieving process that’s healthier than just ignoring what happened?
Thank you again for sticking with this story and for taking the time to comment. It is really appreciated x
Largo,
I can appreciate being stuck. Trying to weave through the mess of the new show and capture our girls is tough creatively. You are doing an amazing job. I love your approach.. Alice is going to flip for sure when she finds out.
K
Thanks, SuperK! I am going to read your ‘Love, Loss’ story this week, along with catching up with some others. There are so many great writers and interesting takes on all the L Word characters in this site, it’s kind of a shame when the show comes back and it’s meh, haha
I wish I had more Alice in my story, but I find her situation (in canon, which is where I began) a bit dull and it’s hard to be realistic about how much time people with kids have for just hanging out! I know that doesn’t bother the show writers, but it bothers me :-)
Thank you for reading my story and for the encouragement. Means a great deal to me x
I laughed at “it’s kind of a shame when the show comes back and it’s meh”. You, SuperK and other writers are doing such a great job exploring deep down the tibette relationship we all adore. Thank YOU for sharing your talent and beautiful stories with us readers who can’t write :)
Hi Vertigo295! Thank you very much for the comment, and I agree – we are all, Tibette writers and readers alike, enjoying these stories and seeing the potential in Bette and Tina. Thank you again for the encouragement! :D
This is a really nice story. I see very clearly how off balance Bette is by what is happening all around her. I can see the difficulty Tina is having trying to understand why she behaved the way she did and knowing how much hurt it caused Bette. I can see the difficulty she had with owning up to be honest with Bette and telling her that she was not honest with her from day one. I can see that Bette is doing all she can to control her anger and yet do what she really wants to do more than anything else – protect Tina. Bette needs to understand that at this point, its not protection, its revenge. I love the fact that Tina recognizes that both she and Bette have controlling personalities. This is essential to the healing which they will both need to produce a strong relationship going forward.
I hope that Bette and Tina will get to a more grounded position soon. Its a matter of rebuilding trust in each other. Trust that the other is being completely open with the other. They need to both morn the loss of the time they missed together and celebrate a new found relationship which will happen once they understand all the ramifications of this event in Tina’s past. Bette’s fear is well founded – fear that she can go through all this pain and hurt, then to have hope and promise only to be jilted again. Its a lot to go through.
This story handles this emotional trauma with such care and gentleness yet shows the damage that can occur as a result. The fact that Bette is willing to go to therapy with Tina is a good thing. Bette perhaps should consider individual therapy as well.
Thank you for this story…take a deep breath, and write when you can.
Hey Martha, it’s great to hear your comments, as ever. You always bring such a lot of insight and, with this chapter, I appreciate in particular your observation that Bette’s impulse *now* is about revenge and not protection. That is exactly right, but I hadn’t thought of it that way. (I might use that in the story!)
One of the reasons I struggled with this chapter is related to what you say about Bette’s shattered trust. Tina is asking a HUGE amount from Bette, and it didn’t feel right to just let it be a ‘Bette is pining for Tina, Tina finally comes back, hurray, they’re happy now’ story. That felt wrong, but it’s also hard to not give Tina what she wants straight away, when she’s been through so much herself… Aargh. This is why I love writing, but it does my head in sometimes, in a fun way :-) I just love the hopefulness they have, the tiny flame that never went out.
I think Bette will go to see Wendy. I love writing Wendy!
Thank you again, as ever. I really appreciate your time x
Largo,
We understand “life” getting in the way that sometimes brings that damn dark clouds. The wait for this post was truly worth it. 🥰 (Can we still use this emoji 😳🙄. Well I’m using it.
I really was moved by Kit’s insight that there was “hidden meanness” in Tina. That’s exactly what we saw when Tina turned to Helen & Henry and made mincemeat of Bette by parading them in her face.
I like that Tina had to admit that numbing herself in attempt to hide the helplessness, loss of control, and shame that victims of abuse must overcome, indeed had encased her soul from being able to “feel” loved.
And if U remember from the show, when Tina was with Alice taking the pregnancy test, Tina had mentioned that she had done that test “many” times over the years when she was with men. Tina was promiscuous a sign that abuse had likely occurred at some point in childhood and/or the formative teenage years.
Whether a person is outwardly aggressive (Bette) or passively aggressive (Tina) the goal to have some measure control over the stuff that life brings. And “feeling loved” so often seems to set one up for unimaginable pain (when relationships don’t pan out).Love how U’ve answered some questions that had not been answered for Tibette.
Looking 4ward to their visits with Wendy. Also figure their paths will surely cross with Rossanna. Did either one of their parents know that one or both of the girls had been abused, and did NOTHING to rescue the child🤔.
Whenever U post, we’ll be ready!!
Hiya Dumplin! What a great comment, thank you very much :-)
I hadn’t thought at all about the different ways B&T are aggressive – they’re very complex, aren’t they? Bette can be pass-agg too, but yes, Tina is almost never straightforward asking for what she wants. S6 of TLW was so hopeful, though, that they’d grown. I think my B&T are kind of an outgrowth of those S6 people.
I’d completely forgotten about that comment of T’s about the pregnancy tests. I’m very inexpert about abuse, and worry about getting stuff wrong in this story, as I know it’s a very important and serious subject, so I just try not to rush it. Let them work on it with patience and love and NO FLOUNCING OFF! lol
In my story world, only Tina and Rosanna knew what was happening. Tina’s interrogation tape makes it clear that she wasn’t even certain that what Rosanna was up to wasn’t normal, so in my view she didn’t tell her mom, and then Rosanna would be off to college and that was the beginning of Tina burying it, not rocking the boat, which was already rocking with her father’s philandering – again, Tina protecting her mother? Poor girl.
I love that you loved the Kit stuff. I think flashback or two is coming. WE NEED KIT, don’t we?? haha
Thank you again for the time and care in your comment. I was wobbling but everyone has been so encouraging and I appreciate it so much x
Great post. Don’t worry about ‘Writer’s block’ or crisis whatever name you call it, when the outcome is a post as good as this it’s served a purpose.
Looking forward to your next post whenever it appears but hope it’s soon.
Stay safe and well in these troubled times
SG
Hi SG! Thank you, as ever, for reading this chapter and commenting. I love having you along on this story-ride. I am feeling a lot more energy about the story now! You guys are really great at encouragement :-)
I hope you are keeping well too! I am fine, touch wood. Grateful for all the essential workers and for LesFan for entertainment and nice people x
I understood Angie’s reaction to Tina staying with Bette, I thing she feels left out and just want her moms to explain to her what’s going on. And she’s right, only her moms are clueless too tight now, I think, and as Tina said, she can’t tell Angie about her sister so it’s understandable why Angie can’t figure out why Bette is so forgiving towards Tina. I’m glad she’s more on board after her talk with Tina in the car.
I keep wondering about Bette’s lack of sexual attraction towards Tina, since we know she did had an affair with Felicity. I wonder how it’s going to play out later in your story, since it is an important part of every relationship.
It’s really good to see T&B really talking about their relationship and their problems, and not sweeping things under the rug. Their interactions together are all over the place, which is understandable. They are awkward one moment, then affectionate, then comforting. They need to keep being honest with each other to try and get a sense of how their relationship works now, after everything. Looks like they are on the right track!