~~

I dont love you. I never will.

I say this to her and for one second, the faade cracks and theres a glimmer of something inconceivable in those emerald pools. Its hurt, but its gone in a split second. Perhaps it was never there in the first place. This moment, me and Shane, here, right now, it could very well just be a writers reconstruction. Ive recreated this moment, added the emotion and fleshed it out, so it would not seem quite as cold and bland and meaningless. The truth was, there was nothing here. No promises, no commitment just heat, but its a cold burn and it hurt.

I dont need you to love me, she replies slowly.

I frown at that and realize that Im upset she cares so little. Is that fair? It couldnt be fair for me to grudge her unfeeling manner when I care even less. Being with her, I could just as easily be somewhere else. Anywhere else because I dont need her. With that thought in mind, I pull away from her. The chill touches my bare skin, and I shiver. It doesnt affect me much. Im frozen inside.

She follows my motion with her warmth, that coolest of heats. Nonchalantly, she picks up one of my hands. Her gaze locks on to mine and the message is clear. Dont love me. Want me. Need me. I look down at our hands, intertwined like our lives. I cant bring myself to pull back any further because I do need her. I absolutely must lose myself in her.

Her sweet breath tickles my skin as I lie back down next to her.

~~

Indulgently, I smile at her. A real smile. I feel my inner core thawing just a little. Its like coming back to life. Her teeth are worrying her lower lip, and she looks so cute sitting there across from me, her head propped up by one arm. Im mimicking her posture, and were staring at one another across the small coffee table. This moment is perfect. I struggle to imprint every single detail into the recesses of my mind.