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Blueprints—Chapter 8
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“Yeah. I do understand. But Tina.. I wasn’t doing anything that I expected you to do the same in return. And if you are worried about not making love to me it is ok”
“That’s the thing Bette. It’s not ok. I don’t want you to just please me or do things for me. I want to do the same for you. 50-50. And I felt cheap leaving you yesterday morning to go to the hospital when technically I only took those shifts because I didn’t have a reason not to. But I do now. And I don’t want it to be like that again. It made me realize that you are far too important to me for me to treat you or us so mindlessly..You said for us not to place expectations on this but I am placing expectations on myself. Which is why I am cutting down my on call hours and eliminating the ER rotating shifts I have done for years so I can spend quality time with you”
Bette was processing Tina’s words as she spoke and to hear that she was cutting back her time at the hospital was unexpected and something Bette was sure Tina would never want to do and here she was saying she was doing it for her. For them
“Wow Tina. Are you sure? I mean I know how it important the hospital is too you. I didn’t want to make you feel like you had to choose one or the other”
Tina squeezed her hand reassuringly
“You didn’t. Not directly anyway. It’s just I have never felt this way about anyone before and I would be a fool to not give it my all. That’s not to say my schedule still won’t be demanding but this way at least we can spend nights and weekends together like this when we can. Of course I will still be on call here and there and when the staff is overloaded I will be asked to jump in and help. But I’m not strapping myself down in work that I volunteered for any longer because it filled a void. I have you now and I want to devote that time to building this relationship”
“Tina..The fact that you even did that because of me and what we are trying to build here means everything to me. I was not looking for a relationship when I arrived here. Like you, I was only focused on my career but I met you and from that first day of meeting you somehow my career didn’t seem as dominating anymore. And your beautiful roses that you sent me this morning were the first flowers I had ever received from anyone. So there are a lot of firsts here for you and me” Bette pauses stopping them and turns her gaze to Tina “…And I will go with you to North Carolina. Whatever you need from me you just ask ok?”
Tina nodded and at this point couldn’t hold in her tears any longer upon hearing Bette give the answer she had hoped to receive.
“You don’t know how relieved I am to hear that you will go with me. I have held this guilt about Jacob for 15 years. And for the first time I feel I can let that go and get closure that I never allowed myself to have. It’s because of you” Tina confesses while Bette swipes away her tears with her thumbs. She presses her lips softly against Tina’s caressing almost hugging them against the flesh of her own in a comforting like manner. She pulls back slightly. Their lips barely touching.
“I am glad you trust me enough to let me be there with you. I won’t let you down”
Tina pulls back slightly to look at Bette and smiles “You haven’t since I met you. Not once. It’s me the has let you down and I won’t any longer” she says grabbing Bette’s hand “Are you ready to walk back?”
Bette nods “Yeah. I suppose we should…Although this has been nice”
Tina smiles as they begin their walk back
“Yes it has. We should do this regularly”. Tina suggests and feels Bette squeeze her hand
“Definitely” she replies “So when does your schedule free up. For the weekend that is”
“This Saturday. I will be on call the following weekend before Thanksgiving. And I was going to ask you if we could spend that day together. I have somewhere I would like to take you ”
Bette was intrigued “Ok. I would love to”
Tina brought Bette’s hand to her lips giving it a quick kiss and bringing it back down to her side “Great. I was hoping you would. I have a special day planned” she says excitedly as their walk brings them closer together
****************
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“You said for us not to place expectations on this but I am placing expectations on myself.”
There you go, Tina. That’s my girl. She really does want to strike a balance between the professional snd personal. Well as much as she can anyway. She now has the desire to move on and see if she can make a life outside of the hospital. And she has one very sweet and beautiful reason to do it. Thanksgiving is symbolic and an important step. Tina’s mom sounds nice. Fifteen years of grieving is a very long time. Tina will probably never let go completely. Could any of us? She certainly won’t forget. Nor should she. But this is a very good and healthy sign. That she is so happy and absolutely wants to see what she and Bette can forge together is a blue print (ha ha) for a successful relationship. Hard to believe that a beauty like Bette has never received flowers so its high time!!! Glad Tina was the one to let her feel so special. And super glad Bette is going to North Carolina with Tina. It’s going to be hard for Tina but Bette will know what to do. I love this Bette very much. Alice is still a nuisance but thankfully Bette knows how to get her to back off.
One little aside – referencing your previous chapters and the comments. I too was a little confused as to the quick jump into sex. I actually looked to see if I had missed a chapter. That said, this current chapter is a very lovely and natural progression of their relationship. I almost wish they had not had sex yet. I’m glad that Tina gets that as well. Their rushed encounter does not seem to matter to Bette at all but it is a very good thing that It’s not okay with Tina. I suspect some very long and slow lovemaking in their future. And we all get the benefit of that. Love their walks on the beach. Can just picture them. Really lovely chapter.
Beautiful comment Billy,
My intent on the sexual encounter was to show that Tina didn’t want things to be like that.. It basically jump started her thinking and what she really wanted with Bette. To make the changes necessary. If you think about it. The way things were she was not even thinking about making those types of changes . Before they went upstairs Bette asked her if she was sure before they did anything and she said “I want you” At that moment Tina wasn’t thinking. But afterwards she didn’t want their time to be like that. She hasn’t been with anyone in years and as far as Bette was concerned she only wanted to please Tina and was not expecting anything in return. Unconventional yes. Rushed obviously. Realistic absolutely…
So if it left everyone disappointed in the interaction initially, hopefully you will come to appreciate how it changes Tina to respect her intimate time with Bette in the future. It made Tina see the importance of what being with Bette actually meant.
Tina has done nothing but devote all her energy into her work. Trying to navigate her sexual attraction to Bette and forging a relationship is a new thing for her.
Now she knows what she wants and doesn’t want going forward
I totally get that! And it makes sense. Thanks for your thoughtful reply. I wasn’t disappointed. Just a little confused. Now really looking forward to Thanksgiving and their potential future. These are two of my favorite depictions of our girls. Why I can so easily see them in these careers is a credit to your story and your writing. Folks are really invested in your characters, and that’s a very very very good thing!
AGREE. Both strong, respectful, and kind towards each other and others. Nice to see and read. Plus the story is interesting and the way you wrote it leaves it open to more coming. Looking forward to the next chapter.
BK
Thanks for having Tina make all the right decisions. She gets her priorities right, all the people around her fullheartedly support her and on top of it all she knows why she didn’t change before with her ex. It needed to be Bette for Tina to feel the need to change her priorities. Love it.
Thanksgiving and NC will be very interesting. I’m sure Tina’s parents will love Bette. Hope that T will find some peace of mind with this trip.
As for the sex in the previous chapter…. yes, little bit early, hurried…. but sometimes you just gotta get it out of your system, release some tensions (which were definitely building between those two) and then proceed in a less hurried pace. Tina said it, it was not okay but now they will take their time to get to know each others bodies :)
Looking forward to more, jlr.
Well said!!
The big surprise for me was that in delivering the roses to Bette, Alice hadn’t read the card! I really didn’t think she would respect Bette’s privacy, but “surprise”! She did!. Liked that Bette did NOT share the contents of the card.
Tina seemed to really be impacted by Bette’s sweet, romantic, gesture with the dinner on the rooftop. And I say this because her swift decisions with accompanying ACTION to request changes of schedules with her Supervisor.
But as important, she knows that neither she nor Bette should leave their sexual exchanges feeling “cheap” because on of them is watching the clock and waiting to bolt as soon as the pager goes off.
Bette revealed that no one else had ever bothered to send her flowers, which means others didn’t feel the need to cherish her with simple thinks like flowers, and bath oils/salts, a fluff robe. They were use to responding to sexual tension and moving on.
This chapter answered the question about Tina
Great comments from the readers above and thank for the explaining your thoughts!
I really love this story!
Another great chapter. Still loving it.
Thank you. I’m glad Tina done some thinking. Just hope you don’t ever rush YOUR story or change anything bc of anything that is said in your comment. You do you We may kick and scream sometimes but we will get in line and follow. Love the story. Even though this one felt rushed.