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Boundary Between Fear and Love – Chapter 5
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Breathe baby.just breathe.Dana says, laughing herself, trying to soothe me into a normal breathing pattern. She has gotten pretty good at this in the last few months. She used to try before we were together, and it did help, I never did lose consciousness, but somehow, now when she says Baby, Im not sure if she gets that it makes it harder for me to breathe.
After I finally catch my breath she looks at me and gives me this serious look, You shouldnt laugh that hard at what theyre going through. It might come back at you one day.
Babe, after what I saw tonight, Im not planning on volunteering for babysitting duty for about a year.
Im not talking about babysitting. Im so not getting her. And she has this serious face. Its sort of taking the fun out the conversation. I was enjoying the lightness.
Then what are you talking about? I ask it a super sweet tone, to make up for the not so nice thoughts running through my head, as though she can hear them. At least I feel guilty even when theres no reason.
You know, karma.
And? Im waiting for an explanation or something other than that one word. Apparently my face says this because she answers my thoughts.
Al? Karma? You know, like sum of a person’s actions determines that person’s future states of existence?
Dane, I know what karma is, Im waiting for the relevance. Im a little lost. And I am. Karma? Dana is explaining a Hindu, spiritual law of nature to me and with a real definition. Remember I said she is smarter than she lets on. Case in point.
Suddenly she got all shy. I have no idea what happened. She just looked down, bit her bottom lip (never a good sign for her confidence).
Dane? Still silence, Im more than a little confused now. She eventually lifts her eyes to mine, but only for a second before they hit the couch again.
Finally, with much trepidation, she spoke, Dont you ever think about what itll be like, you know, with us and kids and stuff?
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I know I already told you this but it can’t be said enough. Nobody writes Alice better than you, I would gladly take your version of Danish over the one on TV. You have just made my day.
There was a lot that I liked about this chapter, but I’m just going to comment on the three I loved best.
1. in the recap from the last chapter with the Alice POV of how people get over the novelty of her quickly. Aw.
2. The Dana being more touchy feely than usual. Yes! So spot-on. Dana is the less touchy-feely person whereas Alice IS more tactile. I loved that
3. “You gave that back to me” and that entire discussion on Dana’s childhood home lacking warmth and Alice’s insecurities about her ability to be a good mother.
There was more, and I’ll probably go back and comment more on that, but eh, this is it for now. And thanks for the comment in my journal!
Sulkygeek – thank you – and I so stole the Bette in dirty clothes from you – but I loved it and had to use it. Sorry!
I feel like I’m reading Alice’s journal right now…the way that way you portray Alice is perfect. Her words, thoughts, insecurities, strengths, actions–it’s absolutely Alice.
My favorite line is, “I wish you could see yourself through my eyes for just a minute. You’d never doubt yourself again.” I’ve always thought that to be true in life. Possibly the best portrayal of Danish–Showtime should hire you. Post soon!!
I love this story. I look forward to your updates. How I wish we would see something similar to this in S3 (never hurts to wish, even though the other writers have me liking the Helacious!). Thanks for giving us a version of Danish without the spoiler issues. Great writing.
you are the best fanfic writer of all time – please post soon. and drowning too. i am addicted to your stories.
I couldnt stay away any longer, I had to read this chapter! This story is so much fun, I love Alice’s thoughts. “She’s handy that way.” For some reason that one had me cracking up lol.
“dana doesn’t need any glasses.” No but you know she’d look hot in them. :P
You never disappoint me, ever in angs chapters. For my happiness this is not the case, beautiful. Thanks. And I agree people do dumb things a lot, but I need to believe in the humanity :P, that is called utopia and I know IC doesn’t know it, but for that exist the fanfiction.
Loved it, especially Dana’s speech at the end.
love the way you ended the chapter with alice accepting dana’s love and how dana is there just innocently loving her. dang insecurities. thanks for sharing the song too, it’s really nice. you’re doing great and this is one of the stories i really look forward to reading updates on. love it!
Wow, lucia, I thought you couldn’t better the last chapter, but you did! The way you write Alice’s POV is awesome, so apprehensive and cutting. It’s really well-observed and beautifully written. Thanks for posting.
beautiful