Her face lights up in an instant. She has a smile that melts my heart. It always has, even before we were together. I could be having the worst day ever and she would smile at me, and suddenly things just weren’t that bad,

She pulls me in to her for a hug and then pushes me back. “OK, so now that you scared the heck out of me, want to finish that thought?”

I look at her and smile before I speak. I guess I sort of lost myself in thoughts because she called to me, “Al?”

“What? Yeah, sorry.” OK – I can do this. Some things are worth the effort and risk, right?

“Dane, I spent the last few days thinking about us. And more than anything, trying to figure out why I have been acting so strangely. Why I can’t seem to just accept this and be ok with it.” I take a deep breath and look up at her. She just nods her head, encouraging me. She doesn’t say a word.

“Dana, I know that I haven’t exactly been myself lately. And I know that I have been a little hard to deal with. But I have been able to at least figure out why. And that’s totally good, right?”

“Yeah, Al, that’s great. So tell me, what was this stroke of brilliance?”

You know, coming from anyone but Dana that comment would have seriously pissed me off. But I know she actually means it literally.

“Well, I don’t know how to start this.” I turn away from her again, I am not sure that I can handle this conversation while looking at her.

“Baby, look at me. You can tell me anything. You know that. Just talk to me.”

I briefly look up at her and I’m instantly more at ease. I know that ease is so not going to last, but for the moment it feels good.

“I think I need to not look at you right now. Do you mind?”

She turns my face to hers, leans in, and kisses me softly. “Look wherever you need to, Al. I just want to know what has been bothering you and why you have so many doubts.”