Fan Fiction
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Breathe– Chapter 5
When she knew Tina was sleeping soundly, Bette changed out of her wet clothing, left the door slightly ajar and returned to the bathroom to gather the evidence bags. She set the bags on the table and retrieved her briefcase from the front landing.
Withdrawing all the case files she tried to shift her mind from the young blonde sleeping in the next room to the case that had dominated her life for the past five months.
After each new murder, Bette made it a priority to review all the cases in one sitting to see if the recent murder shared common characteristics or shed new light on the ones that had come before.
As Bette withdrew three thick packets, she heard a light scratching at the door. Bailey, she muttered as she realized she had left her dog accustomed to being let in immediately, cooling his furry heals at the back door.
Come on in fella, she said playfully as he ran past her barely stopping to say hello. Being a hunting breed, her Brittney Spaniel immediately knew a visitor was in the house. His tail twitched and he gave little yelps every time he picked up the new scent.
As Bette heard him tracking the visitors scent out of the bathroom, she remembered she had left the door to the bedroom open. Before she could make it down the hallway, she heard Bailey push the door open and yelp at the prize he had uncovered.
Bette smiled as she stood in the doorway and observed Bailey turn in three tight circles and settle in next to Tina, his head resting lightly on her stomach.
Bette shook her head, How do they know? she said to no one as she left Bailey to watch over Tina and returned to her case files.
Bette was so absorbed in the details of the second victim that she barely heard the cell phone rattling against the hard surface of the table. Quickly flipping the phone open she said Porter.
Hey Detective, its James are you ready for a preliminary forensics dump? Bette looked at her watch in surprise. James, Im impressed. Considering its been a little more than five hours since I left the crime scene how preliminary is preliminary? Bette asked her favorite CSI.
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(52 votes, average: 3.62 out of 5)
Great story, Sox. Re: formatting. The page generator is expecting html formatting to be embedded in your text. Manually adding a
or two at the beginning of each paragraph may be enough to make it readable for now.
Sorry Sox, forgot that I couldn’t use the actual html code within a comments box – it gets blanked out. So I’ll describe the key-symbols in longhand.
Basically you’ll be manually adding a
‘sharp parentheses left’ p ‘sharp parentheses right’
at the beginning of each paragraph.
I don’t normally comment, but I just love this story, so please keep writing….
DAMN WONDERFUL STORY AND CHAPTER….WHO CARES ABOUT THE FORMATTING, ALL I KNOW IS YOU MUST CONTINUE..PLEASE..I AM SITTING AT THE EDGE OF MY SEAT WAITING FOR YOUR NEXT AWESOME CHAPTER…PLEASE POST REAL SOON….THANKS
I don’t know why but your story makes me think about a great book (I don’t remember the title) and a movie with Denzel Washington, who was quadriplegic and Angelina Jolie. I think it’s the feeling of your story when I read it. It’s gripping. Thank you
I have to admit that I don’t watch any of the ‘crime’ shows on TV. They are too dark and depressing for me…all that violence and hatred in the world. But, I am totally and completely hooked on this story…and it is because of your writing. Thank you.
Sox, don’t even think about stopping, i absolutely love this story…keep it up..love it, love it.
Thank you.
OMG! What are you a Crime Scene Investigator? Your details are great, I really feel like I’m in this situation with them. I can’t wait to find out what happens next. PLEASE post again soon!
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don’t worry about the formatting, this is a great story, and I’m really looking forward to reading more of that.
what an amazing story, thanks sox! i can feel trouble brewing…keep ’em coming
dont care about the formatting either. just keep writing. this is so good. bette the protector. of course. dont wait long between posts and send it as is. thanks
oh god..is eric a killer trying to get back at tina? another great chapter keep going
Tina is in troble maybe she was the targett to begin with. Awsome story i am so hooked please post soon.
oh man I feel trouble coming Bette’s way. I love your story! continue soon please!!
This is great. Keep posting. We don’t care about the formatting.
wait… why did u stop writin, ur killin me here (pardon the really bad pun!)
Oh and in resposne to ur question abt u stoppin, do not do that. There cud be no spaces between the words and id still read it, lol! see how addicted u have made me. Really, thank you for writing Sox
DX
I read and don’t normally comment……..but you write so well, so clearly and have such a sense of timing when you write…..it makes me want more. Don’t worry at all about the formatting, just write.
Execllent. Don’t worry about the posting…had to read pages like this in university…and I survived!
This is great. I can hardly wait for your next post.
Sox,
Brilliant blending of The L Word and murder mystery.
Am wondering if it will be a whodunnit rather than an interesting plot device to put a new slant on a familiar relationship.
Anyhoo, that said, am just loving it.
You have a real flair for this type of story. The scenes have been slowly and seductively set-up, crisp fresh dialogue that fairly bumps along mixed in with some genuine intrigue.
Please continue this fabulous fan fic and bollocks to the formatting.
I have need to read.
Thanks for sharing your talent.
A Loyal Fan.
First time leaving a comment. This is an excellent story, looking forward to more chapters!
What powerful writing. Look forward to more.
god this is a really great story!!! lovin’ every chapter of it. reminds me too much of katherine v. forrest…words that leap off a page and capture the readers attention. thanxs for taking the time to share this with us.
a MOST gracious ten thumbs up to you and your story telling. continued success and cannot wait to read the concluding chapters.
Holy shit this guy is crazy! Bette go kick his ass and portect your soon to be woman is what I reckon should happen!
i love this story! please keep posting, i don’t care about the formatting.
intense!! :) keep writing…
Wonderful detail and scene layout. Are you in law enforcement or a CSI? If not, your research is awesome. Who is this guy or….could it be a female killer? How rare are female serial killers? Maybe a female Jeckel & Hyde? Can’t wait until your next installment.
sox – another great chapter – this mystery plus these characters makes for an intriquing heart-wrenchig new addition to my addiction for Bette and Tina. What can I say but thanks for writing so so beautifully. Are you a cop – you certainly seem to know your stuff??
This is a fantastic story and so well written – I don’t even care about the formatting!!!
damn women, you really have us holding our breathes, great story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t you dare stop writing while you fix the formatting!!!!! When the story is this captivating if flows regardless of formatting…and NO it’s not hard to read!!! Love it…waiting for MORE tks
I lover your story it is so well written I can’t get enough of it
Wow, I feel like I’m in the middle of a CSI episode with my favorite L word characters as the lead. Great blending of the two.
yea, formatting schmormatting, I am so hooked, I just love your writing style and the terrific suspense you build in your storytelling. Simply Awesome.
Did not see that coming!!!!
ok I think it’s jenny lmao sorry I just had to say that. don’t ask me why. oh and a brittney??, all I have to say is I hate that breed. now that’s out of my mouth let me start going on with the story,damm it’s getting good, thank you for the awesome csi info, makes your story so much better, and a special shoe. And the picture, so bette better wake tina’s ass up and get some anwsers right now. And the killer was at the crime scene, he must of followed bette to her house. who cares about the formatting, just as long as you are still posting. that’s all that matters
Loving it. The way you write dialogue is simply wonderful. Its so real and relaxed and never pushed. Dude I sound like a groupie, but then… I think I am one. LOL
This is scary and truoble is coming!